So many people just say "If they want such a big family, why don't they just adopt? There are so many kids who need a good home. They are being selfish having all those kids and not adopting." As a child who was adopted, I have a real problem with statements like this. Adoption is not something you just tell people to do like "Why don't you just buy that coat?"
Not everyone was meant to be an adoptive parent. I'm not saying the Duggars wouldn't be FABULOUS adoptive parents, they probably would be. The point is, being an adoptive parent is something you are called to do from within. It's something your heart tells you to do, not something society tells you to do, something you're pressured to do, or something you feel you should do.
I was a very lucky girl. My parents wanted me very very much and I was told so on a daily basis. I was treated like one of the family, having an older sister who is natural to them. I knew I was adopted, but was not TOLD I was adopted--it wasn't something I was reminded of on a daily basis. In fact it was something I was allowed to forget. People told me I looked like my mother and it didn't occur to me that I didn't. Now at the same time, coincidentally, my best friend growing up also happened to be an adopted child and sadly she did not have the same good fortune I did. Her parents also had children natural to them and she also was the baby of the family. Unfortunately for her, she was reminded almost daily that she was adopted. If her grades were poor, if she did something wrong, it was almost said as an excuse, "well she's adopted." She was also introduced as their adopted daughter. Now I can understand doing that if she had come from another country and you had to explain it to people who might have asked why you had an Asian child or something, but she was as white as they were. It was almost as if they were trying to gain some recognition for their "good works." (I should add that daddy was a preacher, and frankly, not a very good one--hey, I sat through enough of his sermons I'm allowed to judge.) So was it any surprise that she was a terror all through high school, jumped the first guy out of town after graduation, and was never heard from again? Why not when you're treated like a second class citizen in your own home? I also worked at a summer camp one summer and one of the counselors had a 5 yr old she had adopted and she was just so proud that she had adopted that she couldn't stop telling everyone. She introduced her daughter as her adopted child. When her daughter had little tantrums, as 5 yr olds sometimes do when it's beeen a long day, she'd joke "don't blame me she's adopted." I would just cringe. I have no idea how that girl turned out, but it wouldn't surprise me if that woman continued talking like that, her daughter would up a nightmare of behaviour issues. Seriously, what could hurt a child more than constantly telling him/her "you're not really mine?"
My point here is, adoption is something personal and it's something major. You either do it whole-heartedly and full-on, or you don't do it at all. You make that child a complete part of your family or you forget the idea completely. Now again, I would never say the Duggars would be anything but wonderful parents to any child they took into their home. I'm saying that NO ONE should tell ANYONE they should adopt. Adoption should come from within your own heart. Only you can decide that for yourself.
I was told all through my 20s it would be hard for me to conceive. I just figured I wouldn't have kids. I was reconciled to not having any. Adoption never entered my mind. I didn't want children enough--it wasn't in my heart to adopt. Now that I am lucky enough to have been blessed with a child, I find that I would love to have another. It's still not in my heart to adopt. Adoption isn't for everyone and I don't feel guilty, in fact I would feel guilty if I adopted not feeling 100% about it.
I wouldn't be surprised if the Duggars, or Duggar children do adopt someday, they are loving, giving, compassionate people. But having people TELL them they need to makes my heart hurt. Decisions like those are private and personal. Make those yourself.