Friday, April 16, 2010

Are the Bates the New Duggars?

Full disclosure alert--I haven't seen the latest episode about the Bates visit to Little Rock, but be that as it may, I've read allllll about it. And I've been rewatching the Duggars visits with them in previous seasons. So I'm now going to discuss the Bates themselves. Are the Bates the new Duggars?

The latest blog comments seem to favour the Bates over the Duggars--aren't they just so sweet? Yes, they do seem very sweet. But then I think the Duggars are sweet too. People seem to like the Bates for the fact that both parents went to college, yet interestingly, Gil Bates still works a "blue collar" job and makes far less money than Jim Bob (TLC money not factored in). Also for those liberals who are always sniping at the Duggars, the Bates are actually far more strict with the rules, apparently.

People, including me, do wonder if a Duggar/Bates engagement is looming. Most people seem to think it's between John-David and Erin, however I just don't see that. I guess people see Erin gazing at him (??) but she's 18 still and she seems so cereberal to his shy "man's man." I'm more for the Jana/Zach match even though I know nothing of Zach. But that's a different blog entry.

There was controversy over Kelly Bates comment over continuing to trust G-d in her pregnancies--she too has had trouble with her last few--I believe she miscarried the pregnancy she announced while they were visiting during a visit with the Duggars (not the ice storm visit.) And I also believe that wasn't her first miscarriage. However she did say in the last season that all her births were home births, except for the one we all got to see--in a hospital. Her comment was something about "we never know when we could die, we could step off a curb and get hit by a bus tomorrow" so by her logic they trust in G-d that if He keeps giving them pregnancies, that He will watch over her. I actually have that same kind of faith in Hashem, so I'm not going to argue it.

Now because I didn't see the show---is she pregnant again or did she have another baby since the baby we saw arrive? Someone will have to clear that up.

A lot of people think that either TLC is trying to woo the Bates family into their own show or the Duggars are trying to arrange one or more marriages. Frankly I think they are just 2 families that are friends. Why can't they visit and help each other--especially in times of need? The conspiracy theorists don't buy that because they haven't seen each other in about a decade before the first visit in the show--why all of a sudden all the visits now?

Someone commented that it was rude of the Bates to visit in the Duggar rental house while they were going through such a tragedy. I pointed out that the Bates family wouldn't just "show up" without an invitation. In fact during the ice storm Gil said that Jim Bob had to beg them to come when Gil said they would be imposing--and even with an invitation to Little Rock I'm sure the Bates family would have still said "are you sure???" And even after I pointed that out, someone said "yeah of course Jim Bob begged, he wanted the Bates boys to do all the work on their trees!" So you can't win for losing. And Michelle commmented during the interview portion of the Bates visit that the Bates "did all the work" and of course THAT was taken all out of context. It just meant that as guests, the Bates cleaned up after themselves and didn't expect to be waited on hand and foot like some houseguests do. Afterall, they are a huge family that you would notice---not your typical family of four coming to visit you know?

And the Duggars did do them a huge favour with the Wilsons by going to help remodel their house. We have no idea who foot the bill, but because they gave them a card saying it was a gift, I'd say that the Bates weren't paying for it, Jim Bob was. There also seemed to be the implication that they were getting deals, community support, friends pitching in, and i think the Bates had some funds saved up to do a "small project" that Jim Bob decided to turn into a big one.

After reading a lot of comments I did get the idea that people thought if they saw enough of the Bates family that they would probably feel about them the way they feel about the Duggars now. Is too much Bates a good thing or a bad thing---frankly I'd like to see more of them, but with the Duggars. But it remains to be seen---is TLC trying to go after the Bates family? The Bates have started a website that isn't "up" yet. It is still under construction last I went there.

Will the Bates give the Duggars a run for their money on TLC? I'm inclined to say n o...what do you think?


  1. I haven't seen this episode yet but I have been revisiting the episodes that featured the Bates family. I think it's good to see that there are other families out their that are similar to the Duggars. TLC have already started to have little webisodes featuring them and I think that we will see more and more of the Bates, whether its a quick catch up to see the finished house or visits by some of the kids. If you think about it, it is only recently that the Duggars have had their bus which easily allows them to take everyone to visit and have enough sleeping space, or a house big enough to allow 20 guests to come and stay. Understandable that there has been a gap when the families hadn't seen much of each other.
    I'm sure that the families would love a match between some of the kids but they would want them to be drawn to each other. I'm not sure exactly how this courtship stuff works but they don't believe it's a match arranged by the parents but arranged by God and so the falling head over heals in love feeling may be regarded as a sign - Josh felt it and then prayed for confirmation that this was the one...
    I don't think the Bates will get their own show but will be featured more and more as they seem to be in favour with viewers and help to promote the Duggars main wish for the show which is to witness their faith.

  2. In an interview on Tuesday's episode Gil Bates addressed the whole issue of them coming to visit. He said something about calling Jim Bob and telling him they didn't want to be a burden while Josie was in the hospital. Jim Bob apparently told Gil they would be an encouragement not a burden. (Just filling you guys in that missed the episode)

    I too have been thinking about the Jana / Zac possibility!! He is such a doll and Jana (as well as all the other Duggar girls) is beautiful! Can you imagine the gorgeous babies those two would have!!

    Haha I realize that it sounds like I only want them to be a pair based on looks. That's not really what I mean. For some reason I just have a feeling if there is a Duggar/Bates wedding in the works it could be them.

  3. I think there is a possibility of a Bates show. TLC seems to be taking on several of the same types of shows. They had Little People then Little Couple & Little Chocolatiers (sp?). They also have other shows that feature families with multiples. However, I think people who would be interested in watching the Bates are probably just as interested in watching Duggars so it wouldn't take away from them imho.

    I'm not as intuitive so I guess I missed the signs of a love match but I also wouldn't be surprised. The last show Michelle talked about boy/girl feelings happening. Perhaps it is like you said, Jana (or John-David) could be engaged or being courted by someone and there has been no focus on it yet because of Josie.

  4. The Bates could use the extra money if they are offered a show. Kelly had to have the last baby in the hospital. We know that was not cheap, plus they are use to having their babies at home. Home births cost less. Hope she has a healthy pregnancy.

    If anyone is courting, it would be hard to keep it a secret. They are famous now and I'm sure someone would see them out and talk about it. Unless they are meeting up in places like relative's homes. They could also be talking on the phone or e-mailing. Most of Josh and Anna's courtship was long distance.

    Are Michelle and Kelly thinking about ALL their children they would be leaving if they risk their health with another pregnancy? Now this is just a question. Michelle has had normal pregnancies until now. If it happens again, do you think she would or should continue getting pregnant? I don't want to sound selfish...but I would want my mom around.

  5. Everyone seems to love the Bates, but somehow I think the Bates are smarter, or maybe a little more close to the vest. I just don't think they'll take the bait and do a show.

    We have no idea if they are compensated for "visiting" on camera when they appear on episodes. But it seems to be common knowledge that the Duggars aren't making "Jon and Kate" money per episode, so the Bates wouldn't be either.

    There are a lot of questions about the Bates. Who paid for the remodel, do they get a check when they appear on the show, how well are they doing financially? ---it's been reported they do qualify for food stamps but refuse them. I'm sure then they qualify for the state version of medicare (here it's Medi-Cal) but whether they accept it, who knows. It's one thing to refuse food stamps on principle, and I respect them for that, but to decline health insurance---with that many children, I hope they do have insurance some other way, either through his work or a private policy like Jim Bob does, otherwise that's irresponsible. I understand not wanting to be a burden on taxpayers when you decide to have a large family, but at the same time, not insuring them when there is insurance available and then having to take them to the ER anyway with a broken arm or something is just ridiculous--either way taxpayers foot the bill with higher costs, even if they do pay it off in installments.

    As for the continued pregnancies with ill health, I can speak to that. I had my first child and she was born at 7 1/2 mo--pre-eclampsia. I was told by my doctor (British doctor in London, who knows what they tell you here) that just because it happened once, doesn't mean it will happen again. So I have no worries about trying to have another child and we've been trying ever since, in fact I asked the nurse when I was still numb from the waist down after my c-section how soon I could get pregnant again. We have yet to be blessed.

    For people like the Duggars, the Bates, and me, we ride through life on Faith---it's just that simple--it's all about Faith--we simply believe that G-d knows all and we give it all over. I know that sounds really simple and almost absolves us of responsibility, and in a way, it does, it is supposed to take the burden off of us and give it over to G-d....and that is exactly what we do. We have Faith that G-d knows more than we do. So far I haven't gotten pregnant and I know that has to be for a reason. Since we've been back from London my husband has had a double valve replacement, lost his job and gotten a new one, had his new job burn to the ground, had it as they say hindsight is 20/20, I can see why G-d may have been waiting for a better time to bless us. Of course maybe we were meant to have only one child. I can live with that, considering I never thought I'd have any.

    Kelly and Michelle believe that G-d knows what He's doing when he blesses them...otherwise he wouldn't...afterall, Kelly isn't always blessed...and Michelle DID live....people can second guess what G-d's message is and try to tell Michelle what G-d is trying to tell her...but the point is, that isn't Faith...maybe they will be blessed again and maybe they won't...that isn't up to them, it's up to G-d and that's they way they want it, because they have Faith that He will watch over them and keep them all safe. Neither of those mothers wants to leave any of her children childless...but they have Faith that G-d has a plan and that plan is set out for each of them and they are each following that plan. Not everyone believes as they believe, but that isn't the point, the point is THEY believe it...and that's what FAITH is all about...

  6. Great post MaryBeth! Well said. Sorry but I just didn't "get" what they have been trying to say. Your point has been made very clear. But here are a few more questions. Just how strict do you think God is? I believe God... is an understanding God. Is he unhappy that some mothers decide to not have more children because of health reasons? Are they selfish for not wanting to leave a husband and children? Would these mothers be put in a category of not having enough faith?

    My Aunt had 17 kids. Dr. told her she should not have anymore because of her health issues she had with the last 2. She was 42 then and did not like people giving her advice. But she decided to not take that chance. Her tubes were tied a week later. She lived to be 97 and had no regrets. She truly believed God would cut her some slack for her decision. I'm sure there are many women out there like her who decided to be glad with the "blessings" they presently have. Yes, I know something could have happen to her not even related to pregnancy(car accident, plane crash, etc).

    Sorry folks but I've seen many versions of "faith" and it doesn't work the same for everyone. I've seen battered women stay with their spouse because they had "faith" he would stop. I also know a young women who kept having babies while her husband was laid off 2 years ago. Well food stamps don't pay the rent or light bill. Now how did their "faith" get them in a 1 room hotel?? Of course they are grateful to have a roof over their heads.

    I'm gonna stand my ground and say, God is impressed by FAITH...but he also blessed us with common sense. Guess we all will get to a point in life when we must decide.

  7. Angie...that's the thing about Faith--there are no rules, because at the end, no one really knows...the thing about Faith--it's there to get you through the day--it's your safety net--some of us need more than others...and why are there more than one religion in the world? G-d knows what He's doing---if he wanted only one He'd have created only one...

    Take Jews for example...some are Jews in name only--ethnic Jews but don't practice the religion at all...some go all out and they are Chassidic and are basically the Amish version of Judaisim...and you have all versions in between...take within that kosher personally? I don't think when I die G-d is going to take into account the fact that I've eaten pork or meat mixed with dairy and count that against me...other Jews do...but then Jews also don't believe in there you go...but I do the best I can and keep kosher as best as I can

    Now some people don't believe in free will and I'm one of those. I believe in predestiny...G-d has predestined your life and knows everything you're doing to do, everything you're going to chose and knows everything that's going to happen, when you're going to die, etc....all your life's plan is already mapped out and you are just following G-d's pre-mapped plan. So whatever "common sense" you have is already predestined. But again, those are my beliefs, not everyone's. That's how much Faith I have.

  8. Wait! Jews don't believe in Hell?? Cool! Once again you have given some light to the dark cave I live in. It's just sad to think that some people are just "predestined" to have a crappy life. But that's a whole different topic we can start some other time. :)

    This may shock everyone, but I do have "faith" that Josie will be ok. I also have "faith" Josh will get another job and loose his pot belly. And I'm SO very serious about that.

  9. Very nice posts here! In talking about predestiny, I believe that there is also choice mixed in there. He has a destiny for us but if we choose a different path He might try to reset the destiny by offering us other choices that might take us back. Right now at my stage of life I have an irking feeling I am on the wrong path and obstacles keep popping up for a reason to get me somewhere I am supposed to go. I believe the saying "When He closes a door, He opens a window" expresse what is going on in my life right now and I am trying to get to the window. Right now I am comtemplating writing a thesis on Faith VS Religion as many times people have told me I had little Faith when what they meant was I have no religion(I am not affilite with any religious branch per se), it is always inspirational to me to see people be able to discuss their religions openly as it gives much insight to me and hopefully others.

  10. The Duggar and Bates families are friends. I hope TLC does not replace the Duggars.

  11. Here is the answer I received from Kelly Bates when I asked her about doing a TV series: 'About the show...not as far as we can anticipate because I'm always playing catch up with
    responsibilities. The Duggars are doing a much better job than we could juggling
    their schedules! But thanks for the interest! Much love and God bless, Kelly' I wish at least they would do some specials, but that would be up to TLC and the Bates, naturally.