Not Really Duggaring

I've kind of said this repeatedly, but I haven't had much to say about the Duggars lately and the big reason is: I don't get to watch the show anymore. We don't have cable/satellite and TLC doesn't post the shows on their site. And no, I'm not surfing through You Tube hunting for the episodes, because frankly I'm not THAT desperate to watch them. I've noticed the past season or so in what I have seen that they all seem to be the same. Nothing new, nothing interesting---same old, same old.

Part of it is that I have changed as well, as you may have seen from the new picture on the blog. No longer covering my hair and no longer wearing long skirts. Hello legs! We aren't attending an Orthodox temple anymore and have gone in a more Reform direction in our Judaism only because of where we live and what's available for our daughter. I was also raised Reform while my husband was raised Orthodox we're sort of meeting in the middle--where the Jews are attending en masse.

My choice to uncover my hair was actually a subconscious one that I noticed when we got back from our month in Israel. One day I realized it wasn't covered when I was out running errands and didn't think about why. When I really did consider it, other than I'd just rushed out and forgotten, it had to do with how I was perceived while we were in Israel. "Oh you're Orthodox, judging by the way you dress, so you'll want to live in this neighbourhood...." (we were on our pilot trip for making Aliyah--emigration)....and that just bothered me. No, we'll pick a neighbourhood based on price, if it's close to amenities, school, job, transportation, etc. We're all Jews here, do we still have to sub-divide ourselves up? Apparently so.

I guess it's like that for Christians too. Someone told me there are 33,000 different denominations of Christian belief systems. You don't just believe that Christ died for your sins, apparently it's how he died and who did it and how you go about spreading the word and living the gospel? No idea. Clearly Christianity isn't all equal. But then what religions are--Muslims aren't either, you have Suni, Sufi, Shi'a...no one ever agrees do they?

As I've also said I have other projects going on. My novel is in it's second edit (w00 h00) and almost ready for it's second cold read. We're getting ready to put our daughter into Hebrew School, both my husband and I have been dealing with various and assorted illnesses that while his are nearly fatal mine are merely annoying. So that's why the blog seems to have gone by the wayside.

Truth be told I think I've said all I can say about them. As they continue on I think they are losing some of their credibility for me and their genuineness. Their young children aren't learning the lessons in thrift their older children learned because they don't have to be as thrifty as they once were. And that's great--they are making a good living, but their kids are losing out on those budgetary lessons that are necessary because when those younger kids grow up and move out they'll need them--they won't be rich like mommy and daddy, unless of course there are savings accounts being set up for them. But I still think Jim Bob and Michelle should be passing down those lessons they keep teaching us.

I also think the longer the older children stay living at home with the smaller children in the same rooms....is weird. I don't care if they say they like it. It's weird. I don't believe at all that they are forbidden to go to college, I think they are more interested in what's best for the family's TV show and don't want to a spectacle at their local college. Would you want everyone staring at you in class because you're on TV? Kind of ruins the experience for you.

So there you have it.

Where Am I?

Once again I have to apologize for my absence. The excuses remain pretty much the same. The biggest reason I haven't written anything lately has to do with....I haven't been able to watch the show for the past two seasons. I haven't seen any episodes since they were in Little Rock--Season 4. So without much material,I don't have a lot of things to say.

We've also been traveling a lot....real life is getting in the way. As I previously posted we were in Israel for the month of October, we have been in the Pacific Northwest most of November and December, and then my husband surprised me with a trip to London for our fifth anniversary in February (also my birthday.)

I've also just about finished the rough draft of another novel and it's getting ready for it's first cold read, so most of my writing time is devoted to that, and with my daughter just having turned four, I don't get much writing time.

But occassionally something with come to mind and I'll write about it. Once again, topic suggestions are more than welcome.

And for the anonymous poster asking if I'm the one who "stirred up the drama on that fb page" you'll have to be more specific and be a bit less anonymous.

Oh yes, and of course most of the blame is still being lain at Edward's feet.

Duggars and Dichotomies: One of These Things Just Doesn't Belong Here

This one is for you "mythoughtis" :)

I've been thinking a lot about some things the Duggars say, yet their actions don't quite match up with those said beliefs. We all have those moments, no one's perfectly able to live out their religion in complete and total perfection, if we were, well, I think life on earth wouldn't quite be what it is today. However, since the Duggars have chosen to put their faith as a main part of their TV show, it's fair game to point out things that don't mesh.

1) The Meeting of Dolly Parton - I have no problem that they met Dolly Parton. My problem is how they met Dolly Parton. Jim Bob has gone to great pains to urge us to remove all "worldly" music and TV from our homes that can influence our children. Dolly Parton has been a professional singer for decades. She was a chart topper when both Jim Bob and Michelle were growing up and still watching TV and listening to the radio. In their interviews they claimed not to have known who she was. That right there bothered me. Fine, so they didn't know who she was (ok they are from the south and don't know who she is??) and they are taking their family to go meet her? They indicate that they are somewhat aware that she's a TV/singer personality of some type. Here is the problem....shouldn't they, as concerned parents done some research before exposing their young children to a TV personality? And after such research, is she really a personality that they would have approved of? Yes Dolly has done some gospel singing, but does her entire body of work speak of what the Duggar family stands for?

2) The Girls' Beds - I've mentioned this before in another thread, but this particular point got lost within the main point of the other thread, so I'm going to be more specific here. When they built the house they live in, they had five girls. As they finished the house they had a sixth girl. As they decorated the girl's room, they decorated with five designer matching beds. When the room is panned across during episodes of the show, there doesn't seem to be any room left for adding more beds, at least not more beds that match. The only reason I say this is because these beds all have each girl's name lovingly written across it. Why does this seem like such an issue? Every time someone asks (and they ask and ask and ask) why do you name your kids with "J" names? The answer is 'because we never knew how many we'd have and we didn't want anyone to be left out.' Well granted they didn't know they'd be having three more girls (after the sixth) making a total of nine, but for a family who repeatedly tells the world that they don't like their kids to feel left out, these younger girls are going to be left out of their own room. Their older siblings have matching beds and they don't seem to. Obviously there is going to need to be some rearranging of furniture, some possible use of bunk beds (perhaps the single versions of these actually convert to bunk beds, who knows?) but clearly, not every Duggar daughter will be treated equally.

3) The Gun Picture - This has nothing to do with the actual gun, the owning of guns, the shooting of guns or the possession of guns. I don't care one way or another as I previously wrote about. The point I'm making here is this: What it does have to do is the loving and friendly personas they try to uphold? Again, it's not the guns themselves, it's the pose John-David is making. There is nothing "Duggar-like" about that pose. If he'd just been casually standing there next to a couple of guns, no big deal, but the pose is so...well...non-Duggar, I just don't get it.

So those are the few that come to mind as I write this. As I've been examining those in myself, I have to say, I think it may have to do with who we are as we grow and try to change--try to become "better" people, yet is it really possible to change our innate being. In all truth Jim Bob is a salesman, therefore the Dolly thing was all about salesmanship. Do I have answers for all three? No I do not.

As for the dichotomy that Mythoughtis pointed out in me, well I did try to answer it. Yes I do dress modestly and cover my head. However, I must correct you, I do not cover my head for modesty, I cover my head as a reminder of my faith--that there is someone above me--much in the way that Jewish men wear kippot (yarmulkes.) I am not Chassidic. Chassidic women do cover their hair for modest reasons. And as I admitted, lately I have been more lax on the head coverings, I've been using different coverings, not covering completely--using bandannas so the ponytail sticks out, using hipster beanies etc. Why? I don't have a concrete answer for you, but perhaps I cannot change who I am, while I am living the best orthodox life I can, perhaps deep down I'm reform. While I know that's not exactly true, because I am more conservative than that, I do question myself--someday perhaps I will find an answer--or maybe it's because i can't change who I am deep down, lazy.

You also mentioned my offhand comment about an actor young enough to be my son. Well, he's of legal age. Before my husband I was dating men in their early 20s. Why am I telling you this? To justify my comment? No, not at all. To brag? Probably a little. Actually it's because deep down you can't change who you are...I am who I am and I tend to live my life as an open book.

So Mythoughtis, I hope this finds you well. I would welcome getting to know you better as I have a feeling you have the wrong idea of just who I am. Please feel free to email me ...any of you zephyrweb@live.com

Duggars and Guns: Starring John-David as Rambo

So there's a picture posted of John-David holding a few guns and a pistol in his pocket. Ok don't correct me as to the type of guns he's holding, because I have no clue as to what they were or what the differences are. I'm no expert. I don't even know if the actually shot bullets. I did see the picture and it didn't look fake. There was a young man standing with him and he has been identified as an Indonesian exchange student--he was also holding a gun.

Now let's get my personal views out of the way first. I am not anti-gun. I don't own any guns and never have, but I don't have a problem with legal and responsible gun ownership. I also have no problem with hunting. In fact, with the Duggars living in rural Arkansas, it's always surprised me that hunting wasn't more a part of their frugal lifestyle in filling their freezers with meat for their growing family. They even joked about a deer stand when building their house in one of the 1 hour specials before they had their own permanent show. So there you go, it doesn't bother me if the Duggars have guns.

Here is what surprised me about the picture itself: the pose. I was a little surprised to see John-David with the Rambo-style pose. After all, he really shouldn't know who Rambo is, right? And it wasn't a very peaceful or loving pose either. Even for a hunter, it didn't seem right to me. It just seemed odd. That's the best way I can explain it and I'm still not sure if it's coming out right. If he'd been casually posing with a dozen guns it wouldn't have been stranger than that pose.

And there it is. The only thing I find strange about the entire picture or situation is the pose.

Duggar Drought: I Blame Edward

I received and anonymous post today, telling me it was a shame that I haven't been updating lately. I do apologize. There are a few reasons. Some of them are quite valid and some not so much. But since I've always been nothing but rather violently honest with you, I'll share them.

First of all, as I've said before, we don't have TV service of any kind so since TLC didn't post the shows, I didn't get a chance to watch this past season, except for the first couple that they did post and one or two I was lucky enough to see while visiting my parents. So because I didn't see an entire season, I was kind of without new material to work with. If you go down the blog history you'll see that even with new material we've repeated subjects a few times regardless.

Now I know that this blog isn't reliant on the show itself, but I admit it helps with inspiration on subject matter. It also helps keep them in the forefront of my mind. The past few blog topics came straight from the groups I'm involved with on Facebook where topics get bantered about so I get inspired to write about them further. But since the season has ended, we haven't been talking so much Duggar as other stuff that doesn't seem so relevant to this blog.

Secondly, my life has gotten in the way a bit. We've been doing a great bit of travel lately and we're going to be doing a little bit more. As I posted, we spent a month living abroad in Israel and I wasn't able to post while we were there. And then we were traveling back and forth between home and my parent's house (about 630 miles) for Thanksgiving and Christmas. And while doing both those trips we added additional trips to Seattle to visit my best friend from Jr. High and her family (both times) so that extended each of those trips. It just seems like I haven't been home since September. And now we're leaving again in a few weeks to visit my parents AGAIN, because we're leaving for London, England to celebrate our Fifth wedding anniversary (and both our birthdays.) So, as you can see, I seem to be flitting about the globe and the Duggars don't seem to be my main focus.

Third of all, we're contemplating a move, which is what all this travel is about. We want desperately out of the state of California and therefore we are doing all of this travel in hopes of finding somewhere we might like better. Jobs, business, family, etc. just seem to be getting in the way. I'm also in the first stage editing process of my second novel. (I never published the first one, but I don't want to negate it just because it did get completed.) This one, however does have merit and I do plan to see it through to the end, so that's taken most of my writing focus when I get any.

And finally, probably the most embarrassing, I accidentally read the Twilight books and found myself utterly enchanted with Edward and blame him for my complete lack of focus since last May.

So, I beg you, give me some topics to write about and I'll write about them, I need some Duggar inspiration. And I do apologize for the drought.