Friday, August 20, 2010

The Elephant in The Room: Duggar #20

People...and people...just won't let it go, so let's get it out there in the open and talk about it some more. I wrote about this long ago, when Josie was a newborn, but let's revisit the topic since it seems to be a magazine hot ticket...

Will the Duggars have #20? I suppose most people read that article and assumed the Duggars were trying for #20. That's not what it said, it said that they would be open to more children if G-d gave them more. There is an inherant difference in those two statements but most people who aren't really Duggar-philes won't see it. There will always be those who assume and believe that Michelle is very methodical about her childbearing--planning each child and having them all on purpose--not of her pregnancies being surprises. Most of us know that isn't the case. Sure she is probably more aware of her cycle and body than a lot of us, simply because she's been through it so many times, but call me naive, I will always be of the belief that they have that many kids because they are head over heels puppy dog in love with each other and that means they have marital relations quite often. Just look at the two of them on screen--after 25 years they are still IN LOVE. We should all be that lucky.

One other belief I will never subscribe to is that Michelle should live in fear now, simply because 1 in 19 had a difficult birth. My one and only had a premie birth and I had pre-eclampsia but I will graciously accept and frankly continue to try for another pregnancy. I WILL NOT LIVE IN FEAR simply because some people think the odds don't look good enough. By that logic, since all pregnancies in all women are potentially fatal to both baby and mother, no one should ever have children again.

The Duggars aren't stupid. Michelle has spoken to her doctors. She's had her check-ups following Josie's birth. She knows what her body is capable of and what her doctors think. Since no one has heard from any of HER doctors, I think it's ridiculous to speculate on what, if anything, is potentially wrong with her body after Josie's birth. Again, ANY pregnancy for ANY woman is potentially dangerous. The Duggars are living their faith and far it's working quite well for them. Josie survived and is thriving. Move on to the next complaint please.


  1. Regarding the doctors' advice, you can find a doctor who will pretty much tell you exactly what you want to hear if you look hard enough.

  2. ", it said that they would be open to more children if G-d gave them more."


    Then the same is true for all the children being born to drug-addicted unmarried homeless women out there....G-d gives babies to those women too.

    Doesn't the formula for a baby go like this:
    Have sex = might have baby.

  3. The points Marybeth is making and the previous posters seem to be missing are:

    A) they aren't ACTIVELY trying for another baby, People magazine and other bloggers have said they ARE trying for another one.

    B)No one has heard from MICHELLE's doctors which have INTIMATE knowledge of her uterus, the state of her eggs, the condition of vaginal muscles, and her over all health issues. WE don't and neither do the doctors who are spouting off on blogs and talk shows.

    Yes you can doctor shop till you find one that agrees with you. UNLESS she has a completely different doctor delivering #20, IF there is a #20, then we'll know she had to find one that would be willing do to it. IF she goes back to Dr Sarver (the one she's had for the last 5+ years) then we know the DOCTOR that KNOWS her isn't having issues with it, why do we?

  4. I don't think any of us can actually know whether the Duggars are TRYING for another baby, or just not doing anything to prevent it.

    I truly do not want them telling me what days of the month they are in contact.... and without that knowledge we cannot answer the question.

    However, since we are led to believe that the Duggars follow certain old testament principles about certain days of the month, we can assume that they might be suspending contact for a certain amount of time, and that the first allowed time for that contact might just come at an time that is high for possible pregnancy.
    So, they would need to control their emotions in order to stop said contact... that might be considered interfering in their eyes.... so we might think they are TRYING.

  5. While some might not agree that they should have another baby (health risks, etc)- I highly doubt that they will change their beliefs because of one health scare. YES it was a major health scare! Josie is lucky to be alive and frankly so is Michelle, and there is a bigger risk with future pregnancies, BUT the core of their beliefs is allowing God to give them children and not use ANY birth control so I highly doubt they are suddenly going to start using birth control or stop having sex after 20+ years! Just not going to happen. So I am not sure why people still feel the need to harp on this (not you MaryBeth, but commenters on this and other pages)- boggles my mind!

  6. Sadly, it doesn't matter if you're refusing to use birth control or fertility drugs, people get freaky when a married couple is hardcore about leaving family size in God's hands.