Saturday, March 20, 2010

The Buddy System: It Worked at Summer Camp...

Lately as the Duggar brood seems to be growing and the older Duggar girls are exiting their teens and/or about to be exiting their teens, there is much debate over who exactly is parenting the smaller Duggar children: the Duggar girls or Michelle and Jim Bob.

In the early 1 hour specials the buddy system was touted as a great idea in that mom couldn't be everywhere at once and your buddy helped you get dressed, find breakfast, study your homework, and get ready for bed. Basically, they helped you do things an average big brother or sister would normally do in a functional household. I say "functional" in the opposite form of today's overused "dysfunctional" as so many homes today seem to have siblings that don't interact with one another, let alone help or mentor each other. I think that is why the Duggars get so much flack for the buddy system--it's so foreign to see kids helping each other.

However now that the babies keep coming and coming and the girls are older, it's looks more and more like the girls are raising the kids than Michelle. I haven't actually noticed this in the 30 minutes we see. So I'm leaving it up to you all to discuss. She has been seen in all the shows swaddling a baby and often nursing, which leaves the others to handle the other kids. But do we really see everything in a person's life in 30 minutes?

7 comments:

  1. Marybeth, I'm really enjoying reading your blog.

    Like you stated, we don't see everything in 30 minutes, but we do see, what they want us to see. So, in my mind we are seeing what is important to them. I've been reading some quiverful/ATIl websites and apparently this is part of the dogma. The mom bears the babies, nurses for 6 months, then turns care of babies to older child while she makes another. The point is to have as many babies as possible. As we know, it doesn't always work out that she has many children, but that is the goal.

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  2. I understand the philosophy behind that and see that she does use the buddy system and it works for them, but I don't agree that she just ignores her kids once she passes them off to a buddy as some people suggest. I think she does stay involved in their lives and I think she does care about and love all her children, not just her babies. I do think she loves having babies and I do think she may have tried to have babies as she has said that there have been times when she was sad that the test was negative (haven't we all?) but I think they do actually love each other like teenagers and have a full and happy love life--and that is why they have 19 children. Regardless of what the critics say about the buddy system, and even if the older girls do have chores around the house, no one will ever convince me that Michelle is not a hands on mom with ALL of her children.

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  3. Josh is arrogant by nature. I really think it's part of his personality. For this, I will cut him some slack. If they didn't have the show...Josh would be broke. Sorry but I don't think that car lot will provide for his family. Sure his dad did the same thing...but that was back then. Both his parents have a real estate license. Hope that is something he can get on the side because we all know good shows come to an end. I truly believe JB can afford more kids. I just don't think Josh can right now. It's not too late to study law...if that's what he really wants. As far as Michelle being a "hands on mom", I have not seen much of that since the earlier shows. If they are going to do reality TV...then SHOW us some reality. I've seen JB get TONS of attention and that's fine. I've also noticed JB giving more attention to the younger children. I know they must love their children dearly, which is why they are SO protective of them. I just don't understand how Michelle eagerly shares so much emotion with her husband on TV, but we don't see much affection for the kids...on TV.

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  4. Playing nice and leaving this one alone Marybeth.

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  5. Cyn, for all your hard work researching and posting clip after clip of Michelle interacting with her older kids....you've done more than your fair share :)

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  6. For those wondering why we see so much love between the parents on camera...I would guess the producers are proving to the world that even with (back then) 17 kids in the house and after 25 years of marriage, this couple is still in love and starry-eyed over each other....something most people just watching for the first time who have 2.4 kids and each work a job and barely have time to talk to each other would never believe....

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  7. I have to say....it just fascinates me that people watch each episode minute by minute like they are analyzing the JFK assassination....and no, I don't know why that example has come up twice, I wasn't even alive then....

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