Wednesday, March 20, 2013

How I Came to Respect the Duggars (What This Blog is About)

I first saw "14 Kids and Pregnant Again" shortly after I married back in 2006. I was instantly captivated and set the DVR to record the next showing. I found the next specials "Raising 16 Children," "16 Kids and Moving In," and "On the Road with 16 Children." I was hooked on this family. I'm not sure what it was exactly, I think it was many things. They were so....together. They knew what they wanted for their family and they knew how to get it. As a newlywed (for the 3rd time, mind you) without any kids who had just turned 36 (on her wedding day) I knew that 16 kids weren't in my future but I was hoping for at least 1--debt-free sounded good too.

There is a lot about their lifestyle that is similar to mine. A lot that is different. I too dress modestly for religious reasons, only even more so than they do--I cover my hair and wear long sleeves. My husband and I don't practice birth control, but let G-d decide to bless us with children, and we've been blessed with a beautiful daughter. We live frugally and shop for bargains, watch our budget and are virtually debt free. However because my husband is British we do choose to use credit cards (paid off each month) to collect air miles to fly to the UK twice a year to visit family. We've also chosen to make the trip every two years, if money allows, to Israel. My sect also has a tendancy to homeschool and do on-line school at the same time they do Hebrew school.

While this blog isn't intended to be about politics or religion in general, in the interest of full disclosure I will say that there are things that differ will the Duggars and me. I am an Orthodox Jew, so therefore I don't accept Jesus as my saviour. I am pro-choice, even if I don't use birth control in my own marriage I feel it should be there for those that want to use it and I would never tell anyone they can't have an abortion--that's none of my business. I have no problem whatsoever with gay marriage.

So yes, there are things that seperate me from the Duggars, yet I respect them and feel a great kinship with Michelle. Like Michelle I found my faith as I found my marriage and it grew deeper as my marriage grew. I also stopped wearing pants and began wearing the dresses and skirts after studying the scriptures. She talks of previous dating before Jim Bob and the baggage she brought and being previously married I too know what that's like and I decided this time around to have a traditional "old world" marriage ....arranged through a match-maker and let my husband be the head of the household as she lets her husband be the head of the household. It's the most freedom and the most fulfilled and the most respected as a wife I've ever felt. Of course it could be because I'm finally married to the right man.

Know that this blog is coming from someone who actually likes them and likes the show.