Comments have been fast and furious lately and many of them insinuate that the Duggar girls are somehow unhappy and/or being held against their will. I've written on this in some other forms before, but now we may as well just put it out there on the table point blank. Why is it so hard to imagine that the Duggar children could really be happy and content with their lot in life?
I have a few theories, but the one that makes the most sense to me is that they simply go against the average American norm, therefore it just isn't possible. Because they aren't like "my" children, or children I see on a regular basis, they can't be happy.
People use the words "parents won't allow" a lot. I would love to know WHY people think that Jim Bob and Michelle rule and control their adult children's every move--because they still live at home? I was 35 when I married and moved out of my mother's house. I wasn't held prisoner there, far from it. I lived there because it was free, comfortable, and full of perks. When I lived there she PAID FOR EVERYTHING. Now this could be the princess in me talking, but why would anyone want to give up that kind of life if they didn't have to? Yes they have responsibilities, so did I. The perks far out-weighed the responsibilities and in the Duggar's case I think the perks out-weigh them a hundred-fold.
The Duggars also teach free will. Their whole foundation revolves around all people having free will. When you believe that you don't supress other's free will. Now I personally DON'T believe in free will and never have. While I do believe we all make choices, I believe G-d already knows what choice you're making, therefore it's not really free. I believe your entire life has been mapped out before you were born and you're just following where you're supposed to go. Within that, yes you make choices, but again, if Hashem knows the choice you're making, how is that truly free will? Not many people subscribe to that or go along with me, but it's my faith and what gets me through the day, therefore it is what it is. But when you DO believe in free will, you don't make it a habit to squash it in others.
I believe the Duggar children are very lucky. The life that the Duggars have built for their family allows that their children can take time to decide who they are and what they want without a rush. There's no great hurry to move out at 18 and take the world by the tail--something a lot of 18 year olds fail at massively. And again I ask, why should they want to? Life from this side of the screen looks pretty good: free trips, nice house, everything they could ask for (computers, phones, cars, toys, and musical instruments for those who want them), clothing, food, and a family that loves them unconditionally. The love and support of a family is not something to take lightly--and also something that everyone is given. That could be another reason some people are resentful. Just a theory.
Tell me why you think the Duggar kids are unhappy. Show me proof not assumptions. Afterall, just because Jim Bob and Michelle have 19 kids doesn't mean they expect all their kids to follow suit--free will. Josh and Anna have said repeatedly that 2 or 3 kids would be fine. What are your theories?
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Free Jinger: From What?
Jinger seems to have a huge cult following and that just makes me smile. It's curious to wonder why, out of all of them, Jinger is the one the following wants to "save." Just what do they want to save her from?
It's been reported from the family that Jinger wants to take photography classes and do something with her apparent talent. She also has be featured in the orchestra at Big Sandy camp so we know that she enjoys playing her violin. I suppose of all the Duggar children, she seems to be the one with the most attitude. It isn't a bad attitude or a grim attitude, it's just the one you notice. Could it be teenage hormones? Only those living with her have the answer to that.
I would love to know why people seem to see her as a "weak link" in the Duggar belief system. I think this past season was a turning point, but not necessarily for the reasons the "Free Jinger" people may think. Yes we saw Jinger a bit more scowly and subdued, however I don't think people are putting that in its proper perspective. I don't think anyone took seriously the situation the Duggars were in last season. Yes they continued to film even though their lives were being ripped apart with the unknown that was a child in the NICU, but no one really seemed to focus on the pain that family was in. Just because the cameras were rolling and the family was obviously trying their best to put on brave faces doesn't mean that each one of them had a heart that was absolutely breaking. Add to that Jinger's age and the liklihood that hormones and teen angst coupled with a family in crisis and you have the recipe for a cranky teenager.
I think what baffles me the most is: WHY JINGER? If people think that one needs to be freed, why not all of them? Jinger is obviously one of the favourite "out front" Duggar kids who we see a lot of, but is that the reason, or is there more to it? Someone please enlighten me.
It's been reported from the family that Jinger wants to take photography classes and do something with her apparent talent. She also has be featured in the orchestra at Big Sandy camp so we know that she enjoys playing her violin. I suppose of all the Duggar children, she seems to be the one with the most attitude. It isn't a bad attitude or a grim attitude, it's just the one you notice. Could it be teenage hormones? Only those living with her have the answer to that.
I would love to know why people seem to see her as a "weak link" in the Duggar belief system. I think this past season was a turning point, but not necessarily for the reasons the "Free Jinger" people may think. Yes we saw Jinger a bit more scowly and subdued, however I don't think people are putting that in its proper perspective. I don't think anyone took seriously the situation the Duggars were in last season. Yes they continued to film even though their lives were being ripped apart with the unknown that was a child in the NICU, but no one really seemed to focus on the pain that family was in. Just because the cameras were rolling and the family was obviously trying their best to put on brave faces doesn't mean that each one of them had a heart that was absolutely breaking. Add to that Jinger's age and the liklihood that hormones and teen angst coupled with a family in crisis and you have the recipe for a cranky teenager.
I think what baffles me the most is: WHY JINGER? If people think that one needs to be freed, why not all of them? Jinger is obviously one of the favourite "out front" Duggar kids who we see a lot of, but is that the reason, or is there more to it? Someone please enlighten me.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
If Michelle Duggar Went On "Wife Swap"....
This is a request by a reader...if Michelle went on "Wife Swap" what would you want to see, or what would you expect to see? This is a huge 'if' for most of us, because just making that leap to where she'd even CONSIDER doing the show is so out of place it's hard to imagine, but we've put them in 'what if' situations before, so let's try it again!
I have only seen 1 episode of the show "Wife Swap" at least I think that's what it was called. Interestingly enough, one of the mothers who was swapping was a very hard-core Christian from a very hard-core family. The daughter and mother did all the work and the son and father sat around like royalty waiting to be served. In fact, you wanted to reach through the screen and beat the father with a hose. Ok maybe it was just me, but it was very hard to watch. She swapped with a tattooed/pierced mother who home-schooled her children with a laid back style. The kids weren't doing all that well in school. Both mothers learned a lot about "the other side" and both families did a lot of growing and changing--although royal dad was still a royal pain. People don't like to admit their frailties.
Somehow I don't see Michelle as the hard-core Christian woman. She is far too kind and polite and reserved. In all the TV shows I've never seen her preach to anyone. Even to the kids it's not like they hold up their religion in a "my way or the highway" kind of way. One of the reasons I'm so easily able to watch their show is that they don't preach, they lead by example--diamond hunting episode not included--hahaha. I have a feeling that she would rise above whatever situation she was put in and lead by example. I can almost see martyr from her.
For those who know more about "Wife Swap" than I do...what do YOU think would happen if Michelle went on the show?
I have only seen 1 episode of the show "Wife Swap" at least I think that's what it was called. Interestingly enough, one of the mothers who was swapping was a very hard-core Christian from a very hard-core family. The daughter and mother did all the work and the son and father sat around like royalty waiting to be served. In fact, you wanted to reach through the screen and beat the father with a hose. Ok maybe it was just me, but it was very hard to watch. She swapped with a tattooed/pierced mother who home-schooled her children with a laid back style. The kids weren't doing all that well in school. Both mothers learned a lot about "the other side" and both families did a lot of growing and changing--although royal dad was still a royal pain. People don't like to admit their frailties.
Somehow I don't see Michelle as the hard-core Christian woman. She is far too kind and polite and reserved. In all the TV shows I've never seen her preach to anyone. Even to the kids it's not like they hold up their religion in a "my way or the highway" kind of way. One of the reasons I'm so easily able to watch their show is that they don't preach, they lead by example--diamond hunting episode not included--hahaha. I have a feeling that she would rise above whatever situation she was put in and lead by example. I can almost see martyr from her.
For those who know more about "Wife Swap" than I do...what do YOU think would happen if Michelle went on the show?
Friday, June 18, 2010
WWDD Part II: WHY Would Duggars Do.....
I had an interesting email conversation with a friend the other day that had to do with the Duggars and things they don't do, but things we do. There are things a lot of us do in our daily lives that seem perfectly acceptable and normal to us that the Duggars do not do. I personally have no problem with that, but it is interesting to think about: books we read, TV we watch, movies we see--all of these have Duggar conflicts.
I've been pretty upfront about the things I do differently than the Duggars and things that I don't agree with the Duggars on, but it's always the big things--religion, politics, etc. We haven't discussed the small things--and these small things are what make the Duggars stand out from the rest of the world. They are on a TV show, but don't watch TV. A lot of people have trouble reconciling that--on it's face it does seem pretty hypocritical, but you have to ask the big question "why?" and then be wise enough to wait for an answer. The Duggars have had TV in their home twice--a year after they married and then a few years after that when he traded some things for a satellite dish. Both times they enjoyed the TV, but enjoyed it too much. Jim Bob found that it turned him into a couch potato and he wasn't spending the time with his family that he knew he should be spending. The second time, with all those additional channels, they found that they had to wade through a lot of "unacceptable" programming to get to the few things that were "acceptable." They realized that they were letting these "unacceptable" things into their home and even though they weren't watching them, they had to see them to make them go away. It just wasn't worth it. There's the answer to "why."
We don't have TV service or even the ability to get the local channels, but it's not a religious decision, it's a financial one. We do watch plenty of TV either on-line or by getting DVDs from the library, or watching the ones we already own (I'm a sit-com junkie.) Chassidic Jews don't watch TV either because they believe it takes away valuable time from Torah study and prayer--TV and movies a like are just not worth the time when there are more important things to do. My Rabbi's family does watch videos/DVDs but they are all educational and all religious based. The Duggars are the same way. They've said on numerous occassions that they have a lot of videos the kids watch--all religious based and/or educational. I'm not that picky. I do put my desires ahead of my needs in that respect. I've never questioned it. I watch what I want to watch when I want to watch it. It does have it's drawbacks. When my daughter sees a picture of Charlie Sheen in a magazine she starts singing "Men Men Men" and she will ask to watch "Big Bang"--for "Big Bang Theory" (can you imagine the Duggars watching THAT?) But for the most part she asks for her own DVDs that are kid-related and usually educational.
Along the same lines the Duggars don't watch many movies. My daughter has been watching Disney movies lately, but I try to examine them with a "Duggar" eye and I have to wonder if they are allowed to watch them. I watch "Dora" and "Clifford" with a Duggar eye as well and even though the kids know who these characters are (Michelle pointed out a Clifford patch on a dress at the thrift store once and it was a good thing) I wonder if they watch them much, since they don't have a religious theme and sometimes the message is hard to find. I remember 2 years ago when I was driving the Rabbi's girls back to school and they were reading the "Twilight" series in the van. They had gotten them from the library and were totally engrossed in them, so apparently they were allowed to read them, but I have no doubt that they have NOT seen the movies and probably never will. I just read the series myself a few weeks ago and there's NO WAY the Duggar kids would be getting any where near it. Even if the message is "saving yourself for marriage and true love exists" I sincerely doubt the Duggar parents would allow vampires and werewolves into their home willingly.
We do know the Duggars go to movies, when they are acceptable. They never mentioned what movie Josh, Anna, Jana, and John David went to during the engagement episode, just that it was an R-rated movie that you had to be 18 to see and that's why the twins went with them. Was "Fireproof" rated R? I have no desire to see it myself, but they were huge Kirk Cameron fans later on when they met him. They do have a point that there arent' a lot of movies made now adays that fall into the religiously upbeat category. I'm sure they have to hunt high and low to find movies to see. That's likely why they stick to DVDs they can order. My daughter has been to many adult movies in her pram. She seems pretty entertained just by the big screen alone, although she did get a little restless during "Quantum of Solace" and "Defiance"--but she's British and going to develop a love of Daniel Craig because I'm the mom and I said so!
Entertain yourself and go through your day, pausing to ask yourself, "Would the Duggars do this?" You may get a laugh and you may get some insight. I don't plan on changing much, but I do get a kick out of doing it.
I've been pretty upfront about the things I do differently than the Duggars and things that I don't agree with the Duggars on, but it's always the big things--religion, politics, etc. We haven't discussed the small things--and these small things are what make the Duggars stand out from the rest of the world. They are on a TV show, but don't watch TV. A lot of people have trouble reconciling that--on it's face it does seem pretty hypocritical, but you have to ask the big question "why?" and then be wise enough to wait for an answer. The Duggars have had TV in their home twice--a year after they married and then a few years after that when he traded some things for a satellite dish. Both times they enjoyed the TV, but enjoyed it too much. Jim Bob found that it turned him into a couch potato and he wasn't spending the time with his family that he knew he should be spending. The second time, with all those additional channels, they found that they had to wade through a lot of "unacceptable" programming to get to the few things that were "acceptable." They realized that they were letting these "unacceptable" things into their home and even though they weren't watching them, they had to see them to make them go away. It just wasn't worth it. There's the answer to "why."
We don't have TV service or even the ability to get the local channels, but it's not a religious decision, it's a financial one. We do watch plenty of TV either on-line or by getting DVDs from the library, or watching the ones we already own (I'm a sit-com junkie.) Chassidic Jews don't watch TV either because they believe it takes away valuable time from Torah study and prayer--TV and movies a like are just not worth the time when there are more important things to do. My Rabbi's family does watch videos/DVDs but they are all educational and all religious based. The Duggars are the same way. They've said on numerous occassions that they have a lot of videos the kids watch--all religious based and/or educational. I'm not that picky. I do put my desires ahead of my needs in that respect. I've never questioned it. I watch what I want to watch when I want to watch it. It does have it's drawbacks. When my daughter sees a picture of Charlie Sheen in a magazine she starts singing "Men Men Men" and she will ask to watch "Big Bang"--for "Big Bang Theory" (can you imagine the Duggars watching THAT?) But for the most part she asks for her own DVDs that are kid-related and usually educational.
Along the same lines the Duggars don't watch many movies. My daughter has been watching Disney movies lately, but I try to examine them with a "Duggar" eye and I have to wonder if they are allowed to watch them. I watch "Dora" and "Clifford" with a Duggar eye as well and even though the kids know who these characters are (Michelle pointed out a Clifford patch on a dress at the thrift store once and it was a good thing) I wonder if they watch them much, since they don't have a religious theme and sometimes the message is hard to find. I remember 2 years ago when I was driving the Rabbi's girls back to school and they were reading the "Twilight" series in the van. They had gotten them from the library and were totally engrossed in them, so apparently they were allowed to read them, but I have no doubt that they have NOT seen the movies and probably never will. I just read the series myself a few weeks ago and there's NO WAY the Duggar kids would be getting any where near it. Even if the message is "saving yourself for marriage and true love exists" I sincerely doubt the Duggar parents would allow vampires and werewolves into their home willingly.
We do know the Duggars go to movies, when they are acceptable. They never mentioned what movie Josh, Anna, Jana, and John David went to during the engagement episode, just that it was an R-rated movie that you had to be 18 to see and that's why the twins went with them. Was "Fireproof" rated R? I have no desire to see it myself, but they were huge Kirk Cameron fans later on when they met him. They do have a point that there arent' a lot of movies made now adays that fall into the religiously upbeat category. I'm sure they have to hunt high and low to find movies to see. That's likely why they stick to DVDs they can order. My daughter has been to many adult movies in her pram. She seems pretty entertained just by the big screen alone, although she did get a little restless during "Quantum of Solace" and "Defiance"--but she's British and going to develop a love of Daniel Craig because I'm the mom and I said so!
Entertain yourself and go through your day, pausing to ask yourself, "Would the Duggars do this?" You may get a laugh and you may get some insight. I don't plan on changing much, but I do get a kick out of doing it.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Siblings as Best Friends: An Unheard of Concept Today?
One thing I've noticed about people who comment negatively on the Duggars is that they seem to equate the Duggar children getting along well with each other and enjoying other's company as being "isolated" from outside friends. For some reason the idea that children can be friends with each other is some kind of alien concept--it must mean they have no other people to be friends with and they are, somehow settling for being friends with their siblings because they have no other choice. This fascinates me.
I have one sister who is 10 years older than me. She left for college when I was 8--then went straight to graduate school--twice. I never got the chance to really know her until we were both adults and by then, it was too late for real "bonding." We settle for an uncomfortable friendship when we're in the same room together, but otherwise it's doubtful that we remember each other exists. Aside from the obvious age difference--not many 17 year olds actually want to hang out with a 7 year old--I think part of it also comes from how my parents tried to respect her after I was adopted. They went out of their way to remind her that she wouldn't be REQUIRED to babysit or care for me in their place. While at the time this was probably good for her peace of mind, I think at the same time it had it's disadvantages--we aren't at all close and I also think it may have fueled some of her resentment, seeing me being cared for by her parents and she wasn't invited or asked to assist. It's just a theory as I've never been brave enough to ask her why we're both so uncomfortable around each other.
The fact is that the Duggar children have friends outside their home. We've seen a few of them on screen, but it's my honest belief that the Duggars are attempting to give their children some aspect of privacy in a world where they are all well-known. By choosing to keep the show focused on their family, they've allowed their children to have some small pieces of "private" life. There have been random references to different friends by different Duggar kids during the run of the show, but you have to really pay attention to notice--so in that sense people can claim that the Duggar kids don't have friends because we rarely if ever "see" it.
I also think it may go back to the theory that people are annoyed because their kids don't get along with each other as well as the Duggar kids do, therefore it's time to pounce--If I failed, everyone must fail, right? Unfortunately it's very hard to admit as parents when we goof--I myself get very defensive when my parenting is questioned, but I know it comes from a place of fear that they are right, not confidence.
When the Duggars started to see that the children were going to keep on coming, as it were, I have a feeling that the home-schooling idea became not just a way to express their faith, but also a means of self-preservation. Michelle has said more than once that when Josh was small and she began to research home-schooling, one of the things she noticed right away from the home-schooling familes she met was that the kids all seemed to get along well with each other and that they seemed to be becoming friends with each other. I have no doubt that seeing that possibility was a huge comfort for them. Who wants a house full of 19 kids that can't get along with each other? Just 2 kids who never seem to get along will bring an entire house down, emotionally.
I have seen the older kids and the younger kids get along and enjoy being together. It isn't out of duty either. You can tell that they are happy together--there isn't a forced quality there. Not all of them can be that good of actors. I don't think it's brainwashing either. We know the kids cry and express their emotions, even if it's been said they aren't allowed to. My sister and I fake it and anyone with an eye can see it, some things you just can't fake: genuine affection is one of them.
I have one sister who is 10 years older than me. She left for college when I was 8--then went straight to graduate school--twice. I never got the chance to really know her until we were both adults and by then, it was too late for real "bonding." We settle for an uncomfortable friendship when we're in the same room together, but otherwise it's doubtful that we remember each other exists. Aside from the obvious age difference--not many 17 year olds actually want to hang out with a 7 year old--I think part of it also comes from how my parents tried to respect her after I was adopted. They went out of their way to remind her that she wouldn't be REQUIRED to babysit or care for me in their place. While at the time this was probably good for her peace of mind, I think at the same time it had it's disadvantages--we aren't at all close and I also think it may have fueled some of her resentment, seeing me being cared for by her parents and she wasn't invited or asked to assist. It's just a theory as I've never been brave enough to ask her why we're both so uncomfortable around each other.
The fact is that the Duggar children have friends outside their home. We've seen a few of them on screen, but it's my honest belief that the Duggars are attempting to give their children some aspect of privacy in a world where they are all well-known. By choosing to keep the show focused on their family, they've allowed their children to have some small pieces of "private" life. There have been random references to different friends by different Duggar kids during the run of the show, but you have to really pay attention to notice--so in that sense people can claim that the Duggar kids don't have friends because we rarely if ever "see" it.
I also think it may go back to the theory that people are annoyed because their kids don't get along with each other as well as the Duggar kids do, therefore it's time to pounce--If I failed, everyone must fail, right? Unfortunately it's very hard to admit as parents when we goof--I myself get very defensive when my parenting is questioned, but I know it comes from a place of fear that they are right, not confidence.
When the Duggars started to see that the children were going to keep on coming, as it were, I have a feeling that the home-schooling idea became not just a way to express their faith, but also a means of self-preservation. Michelle has said more than once that when Josh was small and she began to research home-schooling, one of the things she noticed right away from the home-schooling familes she met was that the kids all seemed to get along well with each other and that they seemed to be becoming friends with each other. I have no doubt that seeing that possibility was a huge comfort for them. Who wants a house full of 19 kids that can't get along with each other? Just 2 kids who never seem to get along will bring an entire house down, emotionally.
I have seen the older kids and the younger kids get along and enjoy being together. It isn't out of duty either. You can tell that they are happy together--there isn't a forced quality there. Not all of them can be that good of actors. I don't think it's brainwashing either. We know the kids cry and express their emotions, even if it's been said they aren't allowed to. My sister and I fake it and anyone with an eye can see it, some things you just can't fake: genuine affection is one of them.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Jackson and Johanna Duggar: You'd Never Know They Weren't Twins
Jackson and Johanna always seem to be together. Maybe it's because TLC interviews them together for the show, but even in the shots around the house, you see them playing together. Johanna also seems to try and emulate him at the school table--or maybe pester him--whenever she can. The two aren't that close in age, when you look at the Duggar children all together, but they are one right after the other and the way they play and act, you'd never know they weren't twins.
The first birth we were privy to with the Duggars was Jackson's. Does anyone remember when they all went to the ultrasound and found out it was a boy? At that time his name was Judah Benjamin. We learned later in the special that they had a "change of heart" about the name, not the baby, and were going to name him Jackson Levi. Maybe it's me, but I think they made the right choice.
The next special was the Duggar family going across the country towards Disneyland. The narrator took special care to let us know that, no, Michelle wasn't pregnant. But then we were "Raising 16 Kids" and learned that a baby girl was on the way--Johanna Faith. They had previously had 6 boys in a row so the girls were extra excited to find out another sister was on the way.
We've only really seen Jackson and Johanna in the past 2 seasons--that is seen them do interviews. It's interesting to me that they are almost always together for the interview portion. They seem to play a lot together too. I don't have a lot of experience in the closeness of siblings department--my sister is 10 years older than I am and was off to college when I was 8--so I don't know if they are close because they are next to each other in birth order or not. Most of the girls stay with the girls and the boys stay with the boys, but they were also born that way--the boys clumped together and the girls together--so Johanna didn't have much of a choice of who to play with, the closest to her age were the boys--Joy-Anna was about 10 years older than she was when she was born--being the closest girl in age.
Johanna definately seems to take the roll of big sister as seriously as her older sisters do. She jumps right in and helps with her 2 younger sisters, Jennifer and Jordyn--even if they don't want the help--think Jordyn being dumped into a wagon. I doubt that the carrying around of Jordyn and accidental dropping of Jordyn are done out of spite or anger--I think she is following the Duggar example of helping. She sees her older sisters doing these things and so she wants to do those things too.
Jackson--I don't have a clear read on him yet. I do think he's very smart and has that little kid sense of humour that makes for good interviews--otherwise they probably wouldn't feature him so often. He and Johanna do have the banter down and are very funny together. They really do strike me as twins--they seem more like twins that Jana and John-David, whom we almost never see spending any time together.
I think we'll have fun watching these two grow up. Being some of the youngest kids in the family they probably do have some fun and do get some attention. I have to wonder if Johanna was a bit spoiled when she was the "brand new girl we waited so long for" before more girls showed up behind her. Sometimes she can come off as a bit bratty, but then we also saw her/see her at ages 3-4 when that's not uncommon. Remember it isn't the Duggars who claim to have "such well-behaved children," it's the fans who say that. The Duggars are more realistic and it's nice to see that the editors are beginning to show us more "real" moments with some kids acting out and not being so perfect.
What are your favourite moments with Jackson and/or Johanna?
The first birth we were privy to with the Duggars was Jackson's. Does anyone remember when they all went to the ultrasound and found out it was a boy? At that time his name was Judah Benjamin. We learned later in the special that they had a "change of heart" about the name, not the baby, and were going to name him Jackson Levi. Maybe it's me, but I think they made the right choice.
The next special was the Duggar family going across the country towards Disneyland. The narrator took special care to let us know that, no, Michelle wasn't pregnant. But then we were "Raising 16 Kids" and learned that a baby girl was on the way--Johanna Faith. They had previously had 6 boys in a row so the girls were extra excited to find out another sister was on the way.
We've only really seen Jackson and Johanna in the past 2 seasons--that is seen them do interviews. It's interesting to me that they are almost always together for the interview portion. They seem to play a lot together too. I don't have a lot of experience in the closeness of siblings department--my sister is 10 years older than I am and was off to college when I was 8--so I don't know if they are close because they are next to each other in birth order or not. Most of the girls stay with the girls and the boys stay with the boys, but they were also born that way--the boys clumped together and the girls together--so Johanna didn't have much of a choice of who to play with, the closest to her age were the boys--Joy-Anna was about 10 years older than she was when she was born--being the closest girl in age.
Johanna definately seems to take the roll of big sister as seriously as her older sisters do. She jumps right in and helps with her 2 younger sisters, Jennifer and Jordyn--even if they don't want the help--think Jordyn being dumped into a wagon. I doubt that the carrying around of Jordyn and accidental dropping of Jordyn are done out of spite or anger--I think she is following the Duggar example of helping. She sees her older sisters doing these things and so she wants to do those things too.
Jackson--I don't have a clear read on him yet. I do think he's very smart and has that little kid sense of humour that makes for good interviews--otherwise they probably wouldn't feature him so often. He and Johanna do have the banter down and are very funny together. They really do strike me as twins--they seem more like twins that Jana and John-David, whom we almost never see spending any time together.
I think we'll have fun watching these two grow up. Being some of the youngest kids in the family they probably do have some fun and do get some attention. I have to wonder if Johanna was a bit spoiled when she was the "brand new girl we waited so long for" before more girls showed up behind her. Sometimes she can come off as a bit bratty, but then we also saw her/see her at ages 3-4 when that's not uncommon. Remember it isn't the Duggars who claim to have "such well-behaved children," it's the fans who say that. The Duggars are more realistic and it's nice to see that the editors are beginning to show us more "real" moments with some kids acting out and not being so perfect.
What are your favourite moments with Jackson and/or Johanna?
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Duggar Life Lesson: The Value of a Kind Deed
The Duggars are definately fans of teaching life lessons, even if they don't call them that, I do. They teach by example and then remind their kids of that example and how they can apply those lessons in their own individual daily lives.
The value of a kind deed is something the Duggars taught the kids by explaining an experience Jim Bob had when he was just a young boy. As they explained in their book, Jim Bob did not grow up in a family that always had enough money to go around. There were times when they didn't have enough food to eat or enough food to eat, let alone money to pay for a haircut for Jim Bob. His mother would attempt home hair cuts and they didn't always turn out with successful results. They show a picture of a small Jim Bob with one such haircut and while not being horrible, it wasn't great either. Apparently the Duggars had a neighbour who was a hair stylist. She offered to cut Jim Bob's hair for him for free. While this was something easy for her to do and give, it made a huge impact on Jim Bob. He describes the change in his self-image and his self-esteem. You do seem to do better when you feel better about yourself, don't you?
Jim Bob and Michelle remind their kids that there are so many small things they can do for other people, that might not seem like anything to them, but could have a lasting effect on the person they do the good deed for. In Judaism we refer to doing good deeds as performing "mitzvahs." There are so many things we do for other people that we don't even consciously see that someone else could see as a good deed--from letting a car go in front of you in traffic or picking up something that someone dropped and handing it to them. These little things may not stick in your mind for any longer than it takes to do them, but who knows how long the person you do it for remembers. And it's quite likely that they may spread the good deed on to others by following your example.
Think of the good deeds others have done for you and the effect it's had on you. Remember to pass it on and share that wisdom with your children or other family and friends. More good deeds can only make the world a happier place.
The value of a kind deed is something the Duggars taught the kids by explaining an experience Jim Bob had when he was just a young boy. As they explained in their book, Jim Bob did not grow up in a family that always had enough money to go around. There were times when they didn't have enough food to eat or enough food to eat, let alone money to pay for a haircut for Jim Bob. His mother would attempt home hair cuts and they didn't always turn out with successful results. They show a picture of a small Jim Bob with one such haircut and while not being horrible, it wasn't great either. Apparently the Duggars had a neighbour who was a hair stylist. She offered to cut Jim Bob's hair for him for free. While this was something easy for her to do and give, it made a huge impact on Jim Bob. He describes the change in his self-image and his self-esteem. You do seem to do better when you feel better about yourself, don't you?
Jim Bob and Michelle remind their kids that there are so many small things they can do for other people, that might not seem like anything to them, but could have a lasting effect on the person they do the good deed for. In Judaism we refer to doing good deeds as performing "mitzvahs." There are so many things we do for other people that we don't even consciously see that someone else could see as a good deed--from letting a car go in front of you in traffic or picking up something that someone dropped and handing it to them. These little things may not stick in your mind for any longer than it takes to do them, but who knows how long the person you do it for remembers. And it's quite likely that they may spread the good deed on to others by following your example.
Think of the good deeds others have done for you and the effect it's had on you. Remember to pass it on and share that wisdom with your children or other family and friends. More good deeds can only make the world a happier place.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Stay At Home Moms? Says Who?
One thing that amazes me is that there is this weird belief by people that the Duggar girls or anyone that marries a Duggar boy will have this life as a wife and mother at home with the kids. I'd love to know what people are basing this notion on. Is Anna a stay-at-home mom? No. Was Michelle a stay-at-home mom? No, not in the early years.
The examples we've been shown and are being shown are that a wife and husband work together. Michelle raised the kids while working for the car lot and she also had kids with her when she worked at the mini-mart they owned. We see Anna and Josh taking their daughter to work with them and we see both of them working side by side to build the family business.
I have no idea if there is a Biblical background to owning your own business, or if the Duggars lead in that direction so they can have more control over their own lives--after all if you're the boss you can set your schedule and be sure to have time with your family--something the Duggars are very proactive about. However it can also be a financial decision too. If you have the right business at the right time and work it properly, you have the financial control rather than being the employee which gives you none of the financial control.
I would love it if someone could explain to me why anti-Duggars post things like the girls will be trapped in their homes raising kids or that all they have to look forward to is the life of a home-maker when everything we see in their life shows that they will likely be working either alongside or in addition to their husband. Jim Bob worked for five years as a checker and stocker for a grocery store that wasn't theirs--he was an employee--and while he was at work Michelle would work at the car lot and this was before they had children. Josh was born 4 years after they got married.
I have nothing against working moms or stay at home moms--I am a stay at home mom and may work again some day, likely beside my husband at a business we open together. I was raised by a working mother and father--my mom chose to work, she didn't have to, but she was driven and liked to be in the office. I have nothing but great memories of my childhood and have no doubt that if she had been pressured to be at home (her social circle didn't have executive women in it) she probably would have been unhappy--I will say that she did wait until I was in school. My father being a teacher was home close to the time I was, but in our town and our neighbourhood it wasn't a big deal--all the kids played together anyway after school.
I am not out to change minds or convert people to become Duggar fans. What I would love though, is if people would be a little more informed before they make their comments.
The examples we've been shown and are being shown are that a wife and husband work together. Michelle raised the kids while working for the car lot and she also had kids with her when she worked at the mini-mart they owned. We see Anna and Josh taking their daughter to work with them and we see both of them working side by side to build the family business.
I have no idea if there is a Biblical background to owning your own business, or if the Duggars lead in that direction so they can have more control over their own lives--after all if you're the boss you can set your schedule and be sure to have time with your family--something the Duggars are very proactive about. However it can also be a financial decision too. If you have the right business at the right time and work it properly, you have the financial control rather than being the employee which gives you none of the financial control.
I would love it if someone could explain to me why anti-Duggars post things like the girls will be trapped in their homes raising kids or that all they have to look forward to is the life of a home-maker when everything we see in their life shows that they will likely be working either alongside or in addition to their husband. Jim Bob worked for five years as a checker and stocker for a grocery store that wasn't theirs--he was an employee--and while he was at work Michelle would work at the car lot and this was before they had children. Josh was born 4 years after they got married.
I have nothing against working moms or stay at home moms--I am a stay at home mom and may work again some day, likely beside my husband at a business we open together. I was raised by a working mother and father--my mom chose to work, she didn't have to, but she was driven and liked to be in the office. I have nothing but great memories of my childhood and have no doubt that if she had been pressured to be at home (her social circle didn't have executive women in it) she probably would have been unhappy--I will say that she did wait until I was in school. My father being a teacher was home close to the time I was, but in our town and our neighbourhood it wasn't a big deal--all the kids played together anyway after school.
I am not out to change minds or convert people to become Duggar fans. What I would love though, is if people would be a little more informed before they make their comments.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Psychology of Duggar Hating Part II: Looking Inward
When it comes to the Duggars there seems to be an "us and them" mentality between the fans of the show and/or family and those who don't care for the Duggars or their show. There is a strange phenomena wherein people who dislike the family and what they stand for watch the show regardless--I've never understood this, but it happens in many cases. For example, there are groups devoted to "hating" Rachel Ray, and the main past time of these people is watching Rachel Ray on television. I am not someone that can spend time watching a show I have disdain for, but apprently there are a lot of people out there who can and do. To be perfectly honest, I have trouble being polite and watching shows I don't care for--sorry Hubby, but you can watch the sci-fi shows on your own, I'd rather read a book. But either way, you have those who think the Duggars are great, or those who think the Duggars are horrible. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground.
In Part I we discussed some reasons why people may or may not like the Duggars. We learned some other reasons from people who are on the "dislike" side. Some of those reasons were: The Duggars make different parenting choices than the person thought was right, The Duggars are making money by being on a TV show (the person thought never said that was wrong, but a reason why it was OK to criticize them,) and one person appeared to not like them because s/he had read blogs from people who had left an upbringing similar to that of the Duggars and decided that all people from that lifestyle must be unhappy--to be honest it was hard to tell why that person disliked the Duggars as his/her argument wasn't very well-written or thought out.
Both people who replied for the "dislike" side did use the argument that "other people who's lives are similar to the Duggars" had lives that were somehow sub-par and therefore made the conclusion that the Duggar's children would be leading the same sub-par lives. Unfortunately, as Duggar fans, we demand some kind of proof that this is occurring with the Duggars themselves, not people who live like the Duggars. As for me, I am ONLY interested in any blogs or information straight from Duggar family members---other families that have no relation to the Duggars aren't proof of how the Duggar children are currently doing.
One kind of anti-Duggar we didn't touch on was the person who did grow up in a large family and now feels slighted by their upbringing. They look at the Duggars and project their own life onto them--usually without any correct or accurate information about the Duggar family--and assume that the Duggar children will wind up just like they have. While this is sad, it's not quite fair to the Duggars. At least know something about the family and the children before making assumptions.
So what is the point of today's post? By "looking inward" I thought that we could discuss those who are Duggar fans and what we can do when we encounter those who aren't. The first question I want to pose is why do the anti-Duggars get under our skin so much? I am the fan of a lot of different TV shows, but this is the only one I feel compelled to write a blog about or discuss at length. While I'm not sure why I am so pro-Duggar, I do know the main reason why I'm bothered by the anti-Duggar side. For me it's a matter of information. I have an innate annoyance of the spreading of misinformation. I suppose I just need to see the true facts out there for the world to see--I know that people may not change their mind, but if they are at least properly informed, they may see things a little differently--they may understand WHY.
I'm sure there are some people who see attacks on the Duggars as attacks on themselves. There are many MANY Duggar fans who share the same religious beliefs and the same beliefs on birth control. When someone comes onto a blog or message board and attacks those two topics in particular, I've seen many pro-Duggars come out in full force on the defensive side. I know that I fall into the birth-control belief catagory and I do often feel the need to voice a comment or two when someone makes a snide comment on the subject.
There are some Duggar fans who are just that--fans. Who of us wants to see something we care for trampled on? For that reason we will get our hackles raised and feel the need to defend our entertainment choice. I also think we have combinations of all the above--we want people to know who the Duggars are as we see them and why we choose to watch them, and why that's a good thing.
My next question is how should we respond? It depends on the attack, of course. Some people are just down-right nasty and want to raise up the ire of Duggar fans--why? Probably for fun. These people you just have to ignore and preferably block from your view. They will not be reasoned with or placated---they will only get meaner and nastier--that's part of their fun. Some people just don't have the right information and need some correcting, as it were--some even are polite enough to ask for the right news. To be honest, some I've just verbally smacked upside the head. I know it's wrong and not "What a Duggar Would Do," but I admit my weaknesses and being mean to anti-Duggars is one of mine.
How SHOULD we respond? We should probably either ignore them completely--something easier said than done--or kill them with kindness. When people show up hoping for a fight and don't get one, they'll usually go someplace else. However, that shouldn't be the reason we're nice, we should be nice because it's the right thing to do, regardless of the outcome. When sharing updates and correct information about the Duggars we should be polite and sincere, because it's the right way to act around people.
I think one thing we all need to remember as fans, and even as non-fans, is that the Internet isn't real life. As much as we want it to be and hope that it is sometimes, it isn't because a lot of times we don't truly know the other person we're talking to or debating with. Remembering that should make it easier to walk away from conflict---ask yourself if you'd get "this upset" and have this conversation in real life with someone you didn't know? I've received a few rude and hurtful comments as the writer of this blog--does it get to me? No, not really. For one, I can just delete them and they are gone. Two, they never have the nerve to leave their name--anonymous isn't someone that has any power over my self-esteem. And three, they aren't real--I've never had anyone speak to me like that in real life since junior high school, so I am quite confident that these adults wouldn't speak to me like this if they were face to face with me, and if they would, that just says even more about their character. Keep that in mind if you're feeling frustrated on a fan page, blog, or message board.
We all have our own personal reasons for loving or hating the Duggars. For whatever reason, those reasons have brought us together on the Internet and we have to find a way to live together in harmony. I think it can be done if cooler heads prevail.
In Part I we discussed some reasons why people may or may not like the Duggars. We learned some other reasons from people who are on the "dislike" side. Some of those reasons were: The Duggars make different parenting choices than the person thought was right, The Duggars are making money by being on a TV show (the person thought never said that was wrong, but a reason why it was OK to criticize them,) and one person appeared to not like them because s/he had read blogs from people who had left an upbringing similar to that of the Duggars and decided that all people from that lifestyle must be unhappy--to be honest it was hard to tell why that person disliked the Duggars as his/her argument wasn't very well-written or thought out.
Both people who replied for the "dislike" side did use the argument that "other people who's lives are similar to the Duggars" had lives that were somehow sub-par and therefore made the conclusion that the Duggar's children would be leading the same sub-par lives. Unfortunately, as Duggar fans, we demand some kind of proof that this is occurring with the Duggars themselves, not people who live like the Duggars. As for me, I am ONLY interested in any blogs or information straight from Duggar family members---other families that have no relation to the Duggars aren't proof of how the Duggar children are currently doing.
One kind of anti-Duggar we didn't touch on was the person who did grow up in a large family and now feels slighted by their upbringing. They look at the Duggars and project their own life onto them--usually without any correct or accurate information about the Duggar family--and assume that the Duggar children will wind up just like they have. While this is sad, it's not quite fair to the Duggars. At least know something about the family and the children before making assumptions.
So what is the point of today's post? By "looking inward" I thought that we could discuss those who are Duggar fans and what we can do when we encounter those who aren't. The first question I want to pose is why do the anti-Duggars get under our skin so much? I am the fan of a lot of different TV shows, but this is the only one I feel compelled to write a blog about or discuss at length. While I'm not sure why I am so pro-Duggar, I do know the main reason why I'm bothered by the anti-Duggar side. For me it's a matter of information. I have an innate annoyance of the spreading of misinformation. I suppose I just need to see the true facts out there for the world to see--I know that people may not change their mind, but if they are at least properly informed, they may see things a little differently--they may understand WHY.
I'm sure there are some people who see attacks on the Duggars as attacks on themselves. There are many MANY Duggar fans who share the same religious beliefs and the same beliefs on birth control. When someone comes onto a blog or message board and attacks those two topics in particular, I've seen many pro-Duggars come out in full force on the defensive side. I know that I fall into the birth-control belief catagory and I do often feel the need to voice a comment or two when someone makes a snide comment on the subject.
There are some Duggar fans who are just that--fans. Who of us wants to see something we care for trampled on? For that reason we will get our hackles raised and feel the need to defend our entertainment choice. I also think we have combinations of all the above--we want people to know who the Duggars are as we see them and why we choose to watch them, and why that's a good thing.
My next question is how should we respond? It depends on the attack, of course. Some people are just down-right nasty and want to raise up the ire of Duggar fans--why? Probably for fun. These people you just have to ignore and preferably block from your view. They will not be reasoned with or placated---they will only get meaner and nastier--that's part of their fun. Some people just don't have the right information and need some correcting, as it were--some even are polite enough to ask for the right news. To be honest, some I've just verbally smacked upside the head. I know it's wrong and not "What a Duggar Would Do," but I admit my weaknesses and being mean to anti-Duggars is one of mine.
How SHOULD we respond? We should probably either ignore them completely--something easier said than done--or kill them with kindness. When people show up hoping for a fight and don't get one, they'll usually go someplace else. However, that shouldn't be the reason we're nice, we should be nice because it's the right thing to do, regardless of the outcome. When sharing updates and correct information about the Duggars we should be polite and sincere, because it's the right way to act around people.
I think one thing we all need to remember as fans, and even as non-fans, is that the Internet isn't real life. As much as we want it to be and hope that it is sometimes, it isn't because a lot of times we don't truly know the other person we're talking to or debating with. Remembering that should make it easier to walk away from conflict---ask yourself if you'd get "this upset" and have this conversation in real life with someone you didn't know? I've received a few rude and hurtful comments as the writer of this blog--does it get to me? No, not really. For one, I can just delete them and they are gone. Two, they never have the nerve to leave their name--anonymous isn't someone that has any power over my self-esteem. And three, they aren't real--I've never had anyone speak to me like that in real life since junior high school, so I am quite confident that these adults wouldn't speak to me like this if they were face to face with me, and if they would, that just says even more about their character. Keep that in mind if you're feeling frustrated on a fan page, blog, or message board.
We all have our own personal reasons for loving or hating the Duggars. For whatever reason, those reasons have brought us together on the Internet and we have to find a way to live together in harmony. I think it can be done if cooler heads prevail.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Duggar Baby Names: The J's Have It!
All the Duggar children have names that start with "J." Josh, Jana, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jedidiah, Jerimiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johanna, Jennifer, Jordyn-Grace, and Josie. They have a completely logical explanation as to why they all have "J" names--they named Josh, Jana, and John-David with "J" names, and then after that they never knew if the next baby would be the last baby and if they named the new baby with a name other than "J" that baby would feel "left out." That does make sense, if all of your siblings had "J" names just like your dad and your name started with a P, you might feel a bit left out or slighted.
While I have no problem with their logic or naming with the letter "J," I do question some of their name choices. I did read an article soon after Josie was born that discussed how if you are going to use the same letter for all your baby names, you'd be wise to choose names that had enough of a difference to them to give each child some individuality within the chosen letter. I don't think the Duggars have done this.
I was really surprised when Johanna was born and we learned her name. Am I the only one that thinks Joy-Anna and Johanna are practically the same name? I understand that their practice is to let the entire family voice their name choices and then they vote, but I'd think they'd also have some veto power as the parents, and maybe point out that the chosen name sounds too much like a sibling's name. One of the suggested names was "Jesse" and that just floored me--you have a sister named Jessa! Joseph and Josiah and Josie are all very close, wherein they all shorten to Joe/Jo. You could also add Jana in to the Joy-Anna/Johanna debacle.
It would be one thing if they had truly exhausted all their name choices in the "J" realm, but we all know they haven't come close yet. Jim Bob keeps voting for and campaigning for Julie--a name that sounds nothing like any of the names. I was very surprised that Josie wasn't a Julie, but I have a theory that she's named after the Josie in the Bates family. The Bates' have a Jackson as well. Josh's middle name is James and young brother James got it as a hand me down. That's too bad when you consider that John-David has been campaigning for "Jefferson." Maybe he didn't think of that until it was too late. Even Judah or Jonah would have been something new and different.
It will be interesting to see how many of the Duggar kids follow in the naming footsteps of their parents. Josh and Anna have used "M" for their first child, we assume in homage to Michelle, the only non-J name in the family. But they haven't confirmed they will continue in the pattern of using "M" for any future children. There are 18 more kids behind him and I will be very curious to see if they choose to go as the Bates did and just use names they seem to like that don't use a pattern.
You have to wonder if they enjoy their names--if you ask people randomly a lot of people will tell you they don't like their name. You have to wonder if you can win as a parent? I never cared much for mine; I never felt that it fit my personality. I always said I'd name my children names that no other kids would have--so they would be the only one in school with that name. I did that with our first child and plan to with any future blessings. I do wonder if I will one day be confronted by a snarling 15 year old who all of a sudden wants to go by her middle name.
What do you think of the Duggar naming practice? How did you name your children?
While I have no problem with their logic or naming with the letter "J," I do question some of their name choices. I did read an article soon after Josie was born that discussed how if you are going to use the same letter for all your baby names, you'd be wise to choose names that had enough of a difference to them to give each child some individuality within the chosen letter. I don't think the Duggars have done this.
I was really surprised when Johanna was born and we learned her name. Am I the only one that thinks Joy-Anna and Johanna are practically the same name? I understand that their practice is to let the entire family voice their name choices and then they vote, but I'd think they'd also have some veto power as the parents, and maybe point out that the chosen name sounds too much like a sibling's name. One of the suggested names was "Jesse" and that just floored me--you have a sister named Jessa! Joseph and Josiah and Josie are all very close, wherein they all shorten to Joe/Jo. You could also add Jana in to the Joy-Anna/Johanna debacle.
It would be one thing if they had truly exhausted all their name choices in the "J" realm, but we all know they haven't come close yet. Jim Bob keeps voting for and campaigning for Julie--a name that sounds nothing like any of the names. I was very surprised that Josie wasn't a Julie, but I have a theory that she's named after the Josie in the Bates family. The Bates' have a Jackson as well. Josh's middle name is James and young brother James got it as a hand me down. That's too bad when you consider that John-David has been campaigning for "Jefferson." Maybe he didn't think of that until it was too late. Even Judah or Jonah would have been something new and different.
It will be interesting to see how many of the Duggar kids follow in the naming footsteps of their parents. Josh and Anna have used "M" for their first child, we assume in homage to Michelle, the only non-J name in the family. But they haven't confirmed they will continue in the pattern of using "M" for any future children. There are 18 more kids behind him and I will be very curious to see if they choose to go as the Bates did and just use names they seem to like that don't use a pattern.
You have to wonder if they enjoy their names--if you ask people randomly a lot of people will tell you they don't like their name. You have to wonder if you can win as a parent? I never cared much for mine; I never felt that it fit my personality. I always said I'd name my children names that no other kids would have--so they would be the only one in school with that name. I did that with our first child and plan to with any future blessings. I do wonder if I will one day be confronted by a snarling 15 year old who all of a sudden wants to go by her middle name.
What do you think of the Duggar naming practice? How did you name your children?
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Josiah Duggar: World Missionary or Sit-Com Star?
Michelle describes Josiah as the family cut-up and comedian. It's easy to see because he seems so at ease in front of the camera and he's always joking and making one-liners. He says he wants to be a missionary, but I'm sorry, I can totally see him on Broadway or as a stand-up comedian--even a sit-com star.
With that many people in your family, of course everyone is going to be distinguishable by their personality, likes, and dislikes, however, there will be those that stand out and those you forget when trying to name all 19--Josiah is one you will never forget. When you watch several episodes in a row, either when TLC shows a mini-marathon or if you have them on youtube or on DVD, you begin to see which kids they interview on a regular basis and which kids you never see. Josiah, again, always interviewed. He is so comfortable on camera, but not just because he grew up that way, it's more than that. He knows, even at that young of an age, what's funny, what's appropriate to the situation, and what will make people laugh. His sense of humour is beyond his years.
He's not just a funny kid though, he's gone on the last few El Salvador trips as well--being in the "older kid" group part of the family. He has said he wants to be a missionary and these trips are likely part of that, although if I remember correctly, he has said that from the time of the 1 hour specials, before he ever went. He seems like a very open, giving, and loving child. We don't see him doing much school work, other than having a camera in his face while trying to read a book--I don't know how productive I'd be at reading with that kind of pressure, but if you're used to it?
Josiah will be a very very VERY fun young man to watch as he continues to grow up. As Michelle says, he's the family comedian, and who knows, he could wind up an actor in some Kirk Cameron movies.
With that many people in your family, of course everyone is going to be distinguishable by their personality, likes, and dislikes, however, there will be those that stand out and those you forget when trying to name all 19--Josiah is one you will never forget. When you watch several episodes in a row, either when TLC shows a mini-marathon or if you have them on youtube or on DVD, you begin to see which kids they interview on a regular basis and which kids you never see. Josiah, again, always interviewed. He is so comfortable on camera, but not just because he grew up that way, it's more than that. He knows, even at that young of an age, what's funny, what's appropriate to the situation, and what will make people laugh. His sense of humour is beyond his years.
He's not just a funny kid though, he's gone on the last few El Salvador trips as well--being in the "older kid" group part of the family. He has said he wants to be a missionary and these trips are likely part of that, although if I remember correctly, he has said that from the time of the 1 hour specials, before he ever went. He seems like a very open, giving, and loving child. We don't see him doing much school work, other than having a camera in his face while trying to read a book--I don't know how productive I'd be at reading with that kind of pressure, but if you're used to it?
Josiah will be a very very VERY fun young man to watch as he continues to grow up. As Michelle says, he's the family comedian, and who knows, he could wind up an actor in some Kirk Cameron movies.
Friday, June 4, 2010
From Premie to Toddler and Beyond: Share Your Birth Stories
Josie is home and according to reports is doing very well. A lot of us have bonded over the shared experience of having a premie and how that experience affected us. I invite you to share your stories as Michelle as shared hers. Even if you didn't have pre-eclampsia, a c-section, or a premature birth, you're welcome to share your miracles with us. Today we're celebrating our baby stories!
I had my daughter when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant. The nurses and I argued all through my pregnancy on my actual due date, but I knew which day I got pregnant, not them--you have to have sex on the conception date and they wouldn't listen when I said "That's not the day!" So while I knew it was 34 1/2 weeks, they kept saying 34. It's not much, but mothers know.
We were living in London and on weekends had a habit of going for drives either to my mother-in-law's at the beach or somewhere else I'd never been so my husband could show me more of the country a little at a time. This particular sunday in March we drove to Hastings on the coast. The drive was a typical English drive through the country--winding! I arrived in Hastings a little bit queasy and head-achey. That was unusual as I'd managed to make it through the entire pregnancy without getting sick to my stomach. I was queasy in the beginning, but never did get sick. I figured it was the winding road and not enough of a breakfast. We walked on the beach, cheered for some runners in a 10k, and went to a pub for lunch. Strangely I wasn't that hungry and just had some chips with melted cheese--and a lot of cola.
I had my scheduled appointment with the midwife on the coming Thursday and still had the headache. I let her know when she asked and she immediately did tests and took my blood pressure. My pressure was incredibly high and the protein level she checked was also very high. It was around 3pm and she told me to go directly to the Day Clinic at the hospital. I went outside, got on the bus, and rode down there. I checked in, explained the problems she'd found, and they drew blood and tried to hook me up to a fetal monitor. Unfortunately my little one kept swimming away as soon as they'd find her so the fetal monitor didn't work. Since it was so late in the afternoon by then, the doctor on call decided to admit me "overnight" to continue tests.
I have to say I really wasn't worried. She told me that they wanted to give me a shot to help develop the baby's lungs in case I had to deliver early, but even then I wasn't worried. They never seemed worried so I never worried. I just somehow knew that everything was ok. When I finally got settled in bed and talked to someone, I learned that it wasn't the baby they were worried about--she was fine--it was me. My pregnancy was killing me, literally. For the next 2 days they tried to get rid of my headache (it just got worse) and keep my blood pressure under control (it would be for awhile then go haywire again.) They told me, finally, that I had an ultrasound on Monday morning and if that was fine, I'd be going home--every day it was "one more test and you can probably go home tomorrow."
Sunday morning March 18 was Mothering Sunday in the UK--Mother's Day. We were supposed to take Mum to lunch with my sister-in-law and niece, but since I was in the hospital, hubby would have to do that without me. And then I woke up with the worst headache ever. All of a sudden I had 3 doctors in my room and was told we were moving to a private room with more space. I was so tired and so dizzy from the morphine for my headache that I wasn't aware of most of what was happening. I did tell a nurse to call my husband--it was about 8am. There were so many people in that room doing so many things. I was getting lines put in both arms and my neck. Ten minutes later I asked again for someone to call my husband--no one had told me what was going on, but something was going on. I was told that they called him again and he was in the lift on his way up. Then he was at the foot of my bed--in scrubs--something was definately up. I finally spoke and found out that, yes, we were delivering. I'd asked a few days previous if having pre-eclampsia meant I'd have to have a c-section and was told they always tried to do it naturally first. This time I asked if we were doing a c-section and was told we were. "Good," I said, "I don't think I could push."
The whole experience was pretty interesting. For a Sunday there were about 12 doctors in my operating room. Apparently, because it was a teaching hospital, I had the lead doctors, their residents, and their interns--for everything--anesthisia, surgery, and neonatal. The only sad part is the only time I got to see my new baby was as they wheeled her by my head and out the door. They assured me she was fine and just under 5 lbs (they told me in grams and hubby converted it for me!)
I spent the next few days in the hospital recovering. I didn't get to go see her until Tuesday--I was still on spinal blocks and numb from the waist down. So when I finally got to go down and see her it was amazing. They let me hold her and cuddle her and even though hubby had taken pictures for me, he refused to hold her until I held her first. She stayed for 2 weeks and then we got to take her home. They said the only reason they were keeping her was to wait until she fed on demand. We had no problems afterwards and she's 3 now.
I had my daughter when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant. The nurses and I argued all through my pregnancy on my actual due date, but I knew which day I got pregnant, not them--you have to have sex on the conception date and they wouldn't listen when I said "That's not the day!" So while I knew it was 34 1/2 weeks, they kept saying 34. It's not much, but mothers know.
We were living in London and on weekends had a habit of going for drives either to my mother-in-law's at the beach or somewhere else I'd never been so my husband could show me more of the country a little at a time. This particular sunday in March we drove to Hastings on the coast. The drive was a typical English drive through the country--winding! I arrived in Hastings a little bit queasy and head-achey. That was unusual as I'd managed to make it through the entire pregnancy without getting sick to my stomach. I was queasy in the beginning, but never did get sick. I figured it was the winding road and not enough of a breakfast. We walked on the beach, cheered for some runners in a 10k, and went to a pub for lunch. Strangely I wasn't that hungry and just had some chips with melted cheese--and a lot of cola.
I had my scheduled appointment with the midwife on the coming Thursday and still had the headache. I let her know when she asked and she immediately did tests and took my blood pressure. My pressure was incredibly high and the protein level she checked was also very high. It was around 3pm and she told me to go directly to the Day Clinic at the hospital. I went outside, got on the bus, and rode down there. I checked in, explained the problems she'd found, and they drew blood and tried to hook me up to a fetal monitor. Unfortunately my little one kept swimming away as soon as they'd find her so the fetal monitor didn't work. Since it was so late in the afternoon by then, the doctor on call decided to admit me "overnight" to continue tests.
I have to say I really wasn't worried. She told me that they wanted to give me a shot to help develop the baby's lungs in case I had to deliver early, but even then I wasn't worried. They never seemed worried so I never worried. I just somehow knew that everything was ok. When I finally got settled in bed and talked to someone, I learned that it wasn't the baby they were worried about--she was fine--it was me. My pregnancy was killing me, literally. For the next 2 days they tried to get rid of my headache (it just got worse) and keep my blood pressure under control (it would be for awhile then go haywire again.) They told me, finally, that I had an ultrasound on Monday morning and if that was fine, I'd be going home--every day it was "one more test and you can probably go home tomorrow."
Sunday morning March 18 was Mothering Sunday in the UK--Mother's Day. We were supposed to take Mum to lunch with my sister-in-law and niece, but since I was in the hospital, hubby would have to do that without me. And then I woke up with the worst headache ever. All of a sudden I had 3 doctors in my room and was told we were moving to a private room with more space. I was so tired and so dizzy from the morphine for my headache that I wasn't aware of most of what was happening. I did tell a nurse to call my husband--it was about 8am. There were so many people in that room doing so many things. I was getting lines put in both arms and my neck. Ten minutes later I asked again for someone to call my husband--no one had told me what was going on, but something was going on. I was told that they called him again and he was in the lift on his way up. Then he was at the foot of my bed--in scrubs--something was definately up. I finally spoke and found out that, yes, we were delivering. I'd asked a few days previous if having pre-eclampsia meant I'd have to have a c-section and was told they always tried to do it naturally first. This time I asked if we were doing a c-section and was told we were. "Good," I said, "I don't think I could push."
The whole experience was pretty interesting. For a Sunday there were about 12 doctors in my operating room. Apparently, because it was a teaching hospital, I had the lead doctors, their residents, and their interns--for everything--anesthisia, surgery, and neonatal. The only sad part is the only time I got to see my new baby was as they wheeled her by my head and out the door. They assured me she was fine and just under 5 lbs (they told me in grams and hubby converted it for me!)
I spent the next few days in the hospital recovering. I didn't get to go see her until Tuesday--I was still on spinal blocks and numb from the waist down. So when I finally got to go down and see her it was amazing. They let me hold her and cuddle her and even though hubby had taken pictures for me, he refused to hold her until I held her first. She stayed for 2 weeks and then we got to take her home. They said the only reason they were keeping her was to wait until she fed on demand. We had no problems afterwards and she's 3 now.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Duggar Life Lesson: Setting an Example
On the drive up to my parents I had the chance to watch a couple episodes from Season 2 of "18 Kids and Counting" and one thing really struck me as I rewatched the "ice storm" experience: Jim Bob saying that his children were going to be watching his response to this calamity. That spoke to me in volumes--and made me look at and question my own parenting. Everything we do as parents is an example to our children and WOW is he aware of it and on top of it.
It reminded me of when I was about 23, newly married and looking forward to having kids one day. We were at my family's summer home located in a resort and down at the pool during "adult only" hour. We let the kids in the pool know it was "adult" hour and they had to get our for awhile and they all did. After a few minutes a man and his 2 tween daughters showed up and he told them to swim now before they left. We reminded him that it was adult hour and kids weren't allowed in the pool right now. He told us that he said it was ok, he was an adult. We pointed to the kids around the pool who had just gotten out and were following the rules, was it fair to them that his kids got to break them? Remember I'm 23 and think I know everything in the world about everything--newly graduated from college after all--and made the logical comment "so what you're really teaching your children is that when they don't like the rules in life they can decide they don't apply to them?" While what I was saying was true, it didn't help the situation, although he did get his kids out of the pool, but made things miserable for us by getting in and swimming around kicking as much water as he could. hahaha
Annoying 23 year old or not, my point was valid. The examples you set for your children do have a broader scope and the one he was setting was wrong and he didn't see it. I am constantly amazed that the Duggars are so focused on "being an example." As I watched through that DVD I kept hearing the kids repeat that phrase, "trying to be an example," or "reminding her to be an example," etc. I think that is why people comment on the kid's behaviour. Notice Jim Bob and Michelle aren't the ones saying how well behaved the kids are, it's the fans who comment on it. But it's true, the older girls were saying that during the black out when there was no power, it was important that they watch how they respond because the little kids were looking to them to see what to expect. I'm twice Jana's age and not nearly as aware of myself as those older girls are aware of themselves.
Remembering the "What Would a Duggar Do?" mantra, I do find myself asking that more as a parent now. My three year old isn't going to be three forever and I need to be much more aware of what examples I'm setting for her, both spoken and shown. This really was one of those times when I had to say "wow, I am actually being 'encouraged' and not merely entertained, by the Duggars."
It reminded me of when I was about 23, newly married and looking forward to having kids one day. We were at my family's summer home located in a resort and down at the pool during "adult only" hour. We let the kids in the pool know it was "adult" hour and they had to get our for awhile and they all did. After a few minutes a man and his 2 tween daughters showed up and he told them to swim now before they left. We reminded him that it was adult hour and kids weren't allowed in the pool right now. He told us that he said it was ok, he was an adult. We pointed to the kids around the pool who had just gotten out and were following the rules, was it fair to them that his kids got to break them? Remember I'm 23 and think I know everything in the world about everything--newly graduated from college after all--and made the logical comment "so what you're really teaching your children is that when they don't like the rules in life they can decide they don't apply to them?" While what I was saying was true, it didn't help the situation, although he did get his kids out of the pool, but made things miserable for us by getting in and swimming around kicking as much water as he could. hahaha
Annoying 23 year old or not, my point was valid. The examples you set for your children do have a broader scope and the one he was setting was wrong and he didn't see it. I am constantly amazed that the Duggars are so focused on "being an example." As I watched through that DVD I kept hearing the kids repeat that phrase, "trying to be an example," or "reminding her to be an example," etc. I think that is why people comment on the kid's behaviour. Notice Jim Bob and Michelle aren't the ones saying how well behaved the kids are, it's the fans who comment on it. But it's true, the older girls were saying that during the black out when there was no power, it was important that they watch how they respond because the little kids were looking to them to see what to expect. I'm twice Jana's age and not nearly as aware of myself as those older girls are aware of themselves.
Remembering the "What Would a Duggar Do?" mantra, I do find myself asking that more as a parent now. My three year old isn't going to be three forever and I need to be much more aware of what examples I'm setting for her, both spoken and shown. This really was one of those times when I had to say "wow, I am actually being 'encouraged' and not merely entertained, by the Duggars."
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
John-David Duggar: The Shy, Silent Type
John-David is clearly one of those strong, silent types you hear about in the movies. I've never actually met one in person, but he seems to be the epitome of that description. He clearly doesn't seek out the camera, yet is willing to speak when spoken to, although there's an obvious shyness there, even after all these years--his eyes will cast downward, or he'll glance to the side--maybe a nervous smile. Regardless of that, he clearly knows who he is and what he enjoys doing.
Building the family home was obviously a turning point for John-David. While Josh realized that construction wasn't his cup of tea, John-David clearly took to the big machinery and to this day, as his siblings will tell us on camera, will sit up on the seat of a front-end loader until the gas runs out. To hear John-David tell it, he's been operating the big machines since for a long time--well he was 12 or 13 when they began building the house--and he's 20 now, so yes, he probably has--whenever there is a project around the house that involves one of those "Bob the Builder" machines, he's the one driving it. Even the huge lawn mower, and laughing, he says he's allergic to grass.
So why the towing business? People keep writing on blogs that his dad gave him that business. I guess they assume that because years ago Jim Bob had a towing business he must be "giving it" to John-David as a graduation gift? Well no, since Jim Bob sold the towing business when John-David was still a small child. He may enjoy driving and operating the big machines, but from a start-up capitol stand point, a 16 year old doesn't open up a construction business of his own, does he? From a start-up capitol stand point the towing business consists of the tow truck and some permits, I'm assuming. It also partners perfectly with brother Josh's car lot--I'm just guessing here but it appears that he works out of the car lot's office? Does he have his own business space seperate from that? I've only seen him there at Josh's car lot. It makes sense that they partner up.
I did notice that he was driving a new truck this season--bright red. In Season 2 Josh was driving and older white tow truck--neither has any business name printed on the side or phone number. I'm not sure why, but seeing the new truck and no business name stuck me as odd, maybe it was BRAND new.
He may move back to construction as he gets older and gains more experience--adding projects to his resume--like the Bates remodel. I get the feeling that it's more important to own your own business than work for someone else. But Jim Bob wasn't a tow truck driver forever and John-David likely won't be one forever either. That's the downside of the strong silent types, you have a lot of speculation and you never really know until they actually tell you. I, for one, look forward to seeing more of what John-David has planned for his life--it could be that he'll show us instead of tell us.
Building the family home was obviously a turning point for John-David. While Josh realized that construction wasn't his cup of tea, John-David clearly took to the big machinery and to this day, as his siblings will tell us on camera, will sit up on the seat of a front-end loader until the gas runs out. To hear John-David tell it, he's been operating the big machines since for a long time--well he was 12 or 13 when they began building the house--and he's 20 now, so yes, he probably has--whenever there is a project around the house that involves one of those "Bob the Builder" machines, he's the one driving it. Even the huge lawn mower, and laughing, he says he's allergic to grass.
So why the towing business? People keep writing on blogs that his dad gave him that business. I guess they assume that because years ago Jim Bob had a towing business he must be "giving it" to John-David as a graduation gift? Well no, since Jim Bob sold the towing business when John-David was still a small child. He may enjoy driving and operating the big machines, but from a start-up capitol stand point, a 16 year old doesn't open up a construction business of his own, does he? From a start-up capitol stand point the towing business consists of the tow truck and some permits, I'm assuming. It also partners perfectly with brother Josh's car lot--I'm just guessing here but it appears that he works out of the car lot's office? Does he have his own business space seperate from that? I've only seen him there at Josh's car lot. It makes sense that they partner up.
I did notice that he was driving a new truck this season--bright red. In Season 2 Josh was driving and older white tow truck--neither has any business name printed on the side or phone number. I'm not sure why, but seeing the new truck and no business name stuck me as odd, maybe it was BRAND new.
He may move back to construction as he gets older and gains more experience--adding projects to his resume--like the Bates remodel. I get the feeling that it's more important to own your own business than work for someone else. But Jim Bob wasn't a tow truck driver forever and John-David likely won't be one forever either. That's the downside of the strong silent types, you have a lot of speculation and you never really know until they actually tell you. I, for one, look forward to seeing more of what John-David has planned for his life--it could be that he'll show us instead of tell us.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Celebration: Duggars and Holidays
Happy Memorial Day Weekend to those of you in the United States! Those of you in Canada and overseas, I wish you a wonderful weekend as well. I am visiting my parents for the holiday and will be checking in, and if time permits hopefully posting a few new posts (I had a chance to watch some Duggar dvds on the way up--bless my husband for having the foresight to have DVD players installed in my car for long trips!--and have some new ideas, but for now here is the post on holidays, as requested! Safe weekend travels to those of you traveling and to friends and relatives traveling.
We've seen a few holiday celebrations on the show, but not very many, when you really think about it. I have a few theories--they share their lives and their Faith with us, but at the same time, they do want to keep some things to themselves. TLC also seems to move around when the Duggars are on the air--sometimes it's through the winter, sometimes it's in the spring. What holidays have we seen?
I think we can all clearly remember seeing the episode on St. Patrick's Day. Michelle, herself, made a special effort to research who St. Patrick was because of her own Irish heritage. I found this a little bit interesting--as a homeschool mom, wouldn't it have been a great opportunity for her KIDS to do a project on it? They had a huge green breakfast that was clearly over the top and probably done just for the show that day. And hearing about how the green dye affected everyone's digestive system later was ...too much information.
We've seen, if I recall, two Christmas episodes, but one was with Josie in Little Rock. The first was the Duggars in a parade, not really them showing us their Christmas morning opening presents, and Christmas traditions. I think they do try to keep some things private and personal. I believe that's why we've never seen them on Thanksgiving--afterall we've seen them film during the season, but skip over the holiday. It could be they have family and friends that don't want to be a part of the show, or it could e that some things they want to keep for themselves. I applaud them on both parts, if that's the case.
There are other holidays we haven't seen--Fourth of July, Memorial Day, New Year's, Labour Day, President's Day, Martin Luthur King Jr. Day, Columbus Day, St. Valentine's Day, and of course Mother's Day and Father's Day.
I will ammend, we did see Michelle on Mother's Day walking the ducks at the Peabody Hotel. But that was by invitation from someone else. What do the kids do for her on a Mother's Day when the rest of the world isn't celebrating her? What about Jim Bob? Ok we know how Michelle celebrated last year (hahaha) but we haven't seen how his children celebrate him.
Being such patriotic citizens, I would be interested in how they celebrate the 4th of July and if they acknowledge President's Day. Being homeschooled, they don't have day's off for Martin Luthur King Jr. Day and President's Day and Memorial Day, yet they are still very important days in our history. Do they stop to remember what those days mean? I remember when they were all waiting to find out if Jordyn was a boy or a girl and they were in the waiting room talking names--John-David was very clear about Jefferson Thomas. He was also the one who wanted quotes from founding fathers on the boy's room wall. A connection there?
I've lived in London, England as my husband is British and I've mentioned that's where I gave birth to my daughter, and I became familiar (well not really because frankly I'm still confused by what the term really means) with "bank holidays." And this weekend here in the states we are celebrating Memorial Day--officially it's on Monday, but as we have become accustomed, it's not "Memorial Day Weekend." Memorial Day is when we honour those who we've lost in battle, or those that have served and are now gone. The boy scouts will go put an American flag on my father's grave and since I will be in town, I will go place a bouquet there as well. My father served in Korea in the Navy before meeting and marrying my mother. Do the Duggars honour those who have fallen with any kind of special acknowledgement?
It will be interesting to see what the upcoming Season and beyond hold for us. Will we get to glimpse into the lives of the Duggars and their holiday celebrations?
We've seen a few holiday celebrations on the show, but not very many, when you really think about it. I have a few theories--they share their lives and their Faith with us, but at the same time, they do want to keep some things to themselves. TLC also seems to move around when the Duggars are on the air--sometimes it's through the winter, sometimes it's in the spring. What holidays have we seen?
I think we can all clearly remember seeing the episode on St. Patrick's Day. Michelle, herself, made a special effort to research who St. Patrick was because of her own Irish heritage. I found this a little bit interesting--as a homeschool mom, wouldn't it have been a great opportunity for her KIDS to do a project on it? They had a huge green breakfast that was clearly over the top and probably done just for the show that day. And hearing about how the green dye affected everyone's digestive system later was ...too much information.
We've seen, if I recall, two Christmas episodes, but one was with Josie in Little Rock. The first was the Duggars in a parade, not really them showing us their Christmas morning opening presents, and Christmas traditions. I think they do try to keep some things private and personal. I believe that's why we've never seen them on Thanksgiving--afterall we've seen them film during the season, but skip over the holiday. It could be they have family and friends that don't want to be a part of the show, or it could e that some things they want to keep for themselves. I applaud them on both parts, if that's the case.
There are other holidays we haven't seen--Fourth of July, Memorial Day, New Year's, Labour Day, President's Day, Martin Luthur King Jr. Day, Columbus Day, St. Valentine's Day, and of course Mother's Day and Father's Day.
I will ammend, we did see Michelle on Mother's Day walking the ducks at the Peabody Hotel. But that was by invitation from someone else. What do the kids do for her on a Mother's Day when the rest of the world isn't celebrating her? What about Jim Bob? Ok we know how Michelle celebrated last year (hahaha) but we haven't seen how his children celebrate him.
Being such patriotic citizens, I would be interested in how they celebrate the 4th of July and if they acknowledge President's Day. Being homeschooled, they don't have day's off for Martin Luthur King Jr. Day and President's Day and Memorial Day, yet they are still very important days in our history. Do they stop to remember what those days mean? I remember when they were all waiting to find out if Jordyn was a boy or a girl and they were in the waiting room talking names--John-David was very clear about Jefferson Thomas. He was also the one who wanted quotes from founding fathers on the boy's room wall. A connection there?
I've lived in London, England as my husband is British and I've mentioned that's where I gave birth to my daughter, and I became familiar (well not really because frankly I'm still confused by what the term really means) with "bank holidays." And this weekend here in the states we are celebrating Memorial Day--officially it's on Monday, but as we have become accustomed, it's not "Memorial Day Weekend." Memorial Day is when we honour those who we've lost in battle, or those that have served and are now gone. The boy scouts will go put an American flag on my father's grave and since I will be in town, I will go place a bouquet there as well. My father served in Korea in the Navy before meeting and marrying my mother. Do the Duggars honour those who have fallen with any kind of special acknowledgement?
It will be interesting to see what the upcoming Season and beyond hold for us. Will we get to glimpse into the lives of the Duggars and their holiday celebrations?
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Jim Bob: Producer, Not a Puppet or PuppetMaster
Two different readers have brought up two different points/questions regarding the Duggars and I thought I might respond by putting the answers in one place. One reader asked about a post that was put on another Duggar blog that was written by Anna Keller's brother-in-law after the wedding episode, depicting what went on behind the scenes. He is careful to point out that he does not know the Duggars, but that his post is merely to clear up any misinformation out there about the Kellers and Kellers alone. He was not happy about having to sign a waiver to appear on camera, when he was first told it was optional, so he refused (he was there for Anna not to be on TV) and then when everyone was standing up on stage (he was a groomsman, his wife, Anna's older sister and owner of Anna's wedding dress, was a bride'smaid) was he then publicly confronted to sign the waiver or he wouldn't be in the wedding--apparently his wife never signed one and appeared, according to the brother-in-law, on the show illegally. There were other examples of staged incidents and questions of the Duggars being "in control" or not.
The entire letter he wrote is very long, so I copied and pasted it into the comment section, if you want to read it.
So the question was, are the Duggars puppets to TLC, especially with all the seemingly staged trips, or are they laughing all the way to the bank. The other remark was from someone who, like me, doesn't share in the Duggar's religious beliefs, but respects them, and enjoys watching them. I put these two together because it struck me as another case of "watching between the lines." I still, naive as it may sound, believe the Duggars are doing this show for honest and upright reasons. I also don't think they let it control their lives--otherwise it would be many many more shows than it is, I could be wrong, but doesn't the Kate show have many more episodes than the Duggars do?
I do think that the Duggars are put in situations that they normally wouldn't think to put themselves in since the show started--trips, outings, etc--and that is due to TLC, but I think they are enjoying them and using those trips to their advantage, not necessarily in a money way, but in a homeschooling way, behind the scenes--again speculation. I think a lot goes on behind the scenes we don't know about--I personally believe they have a "tv life" and a "private life" since this show isn't a documentary, it's set up "theme-style." I have no doubt that TLC pulls some strings. However, I don't believe for a minute that the Duggars would allow their morals, or Faith to be compromised for one moment--if that were to happen, I think they'd walk and walk fast. After all I think that's why Jim Bob's name is listed as a Producer, so he has final say--they said they would only do this if their Faith wasn't edited out. And this Producer credit is apparently new, he wasn't always listed as such, and that may be due to some things that have happened during filming that the Duggars weren't pleased with, or he's just a brilliant business man, or both.
I don't think anyone believes, even the real Duggar believers, for a moment that all the trips are Duggar-planned. While in Little Rock, I'm sure that Jim Bob does want to get the kids out of the house and keep them occupied, as well he should--it's best to remind them that they are still important parts of the family and that while Josie is sick and needs attention, they need attention too. I think TLC is just helping him find places to take them and making those trips easier to come by and making access easier--and in the stressful situation they are going through personally, I'd take the help and just go with it. Back before they had this personal trauma to deal with, I think they took TLC up on the offers of help finding outings, but still used those outings to their advantage on a homeschool basis--of course not all trips on their face will be appropriate for all age kids--but you can, if you work it right, can find something out of any of those trips, to make a valid project for any age homeschooler. Also, trips are trips and experiences are experiences, and regardless of whether they are relevant to school or not, they still are interesting and exciting for the kids and help build up who they are and where they've been.
Jim Bob is not a minister or a man of the cloth. He is a man of Faith, but he is not ordained. He is a real estate investor and former politician and former car salesman. He is a businessman. So, yes, I have no doubt he is constantly eyeing the bottom line. Why shouldn't he? He's in his mid-40s and still has kids in diapers! Even if he does have money coming in from TLC he still has to manage it wisely because he has a large family and it will be at least 20 years before Josie leaves the nest, plus he and Michelle have to think of their retirement.
I have said this before and I will say this again--they do not have a gauge for fame in the TV sense of the word. They don't watch regular television, they don't pay attention to modern media or music, so they have nothing to compare themselves to. Even when asked who Dolly Parton was, someone who had chart topping hits back when they were both in high school and able to listen to her music, didn't know what she was famous for. So when it comes to their own personal fame in regards to television, they have nothing to compare it to. They do, of course, know that they are a famous family, however it could be because you've seen them in People, or on the Today show. For all they know you're waving at them because they are a large family--remember in the first documentary, they said they always got approached long before TLC came knocking. In that respect, they can be naive to what "fame" is.
So because of that, I have no problem in believing that they are true to their word that they are really trying to be an encouragement for others---it's not about fame. I don't have a problem with them being paid a deserving wage for their time and trouble, after all it's not all wine and roses, as we've seen having a camera crew wake you up at 5am as you're leaving on a trip to the airport. I do think there are days they probably wish there wasn't someone following them around, even if that someone has become "part of the family."
That's my take--I will say this, I do feel for the brother-in-law. He was torn. He and his wife did want to be there to support Anna and the Keller family. However, I think he should have been a little more realistic...he and his wife knew going into it, long before they showed up for the wedding that it was going to be filmed for TV and they knew long before they showed up for the wedding that they didn't want to be filmed. I think he either should have signed the waiver without making a fuss about it or opted out of the wedding and done something else to support Anna and the Kellers. Obviously he was angry because he was reading things on the blog about the Kellers that he didn't like and he was blaming it all on TLC, I get that, but what I don't get is that Anna's parents knew from Day 1 that Josh and Josh's family were on a TV show--they said that in their first interview--we like them, not because they are on tv, but because they are great people, or something like that. So Anna's parent's knew what was coming--the rest of her family had to have known too. I think he was kind of out of line about it--did TLC deceive him about the waiver? We only have his word on how it happened, and if they did, that was wrong, but anyone knows, and he obviously seems to know how it works, that if you appear on tv you have to sign a waiver, and he said from the beginning that he didn't want to appear. So again, I ask, why even agree to be in the wedding? You can politely decline and give the reason "I don't want to be on TV." The Kellers, being the nice people he says they are, certainly would have understood. He could have been an usher, done something off screen. Is it just me?
Pulling this together, I think the Duggars have managed to stay on top of their world, without compromising their values, beliefs, or morals. The wedding episode aside, I do think that TLC probably has a lot to say about the episodes, but I do believe that Jim Bob and Michelle have veto-power over what happens and what gets onto the screen. I have no doubt that the wedding day was insane--even without a film crew show me a wedding day that isn't a mad house...no one ready for pictures? Sounds like my first wedding. Actually it sounds typical of any wedding, just add a camera crew and waiver signing. I do feel badly that the Kellers weren't portrayed as well as he feels they should have, I don't remember them being portrayed badly--however this show isn't about the Kellers, it's about the Duggars. Now, at least, we know why we don't see more of the Kellers--Mr. and Mrs. Keller aren't fans of being on film. I think brother-in-law was overly defensive over remarks on a blog by people being mean to his in-laws (the Kellers) and he vented at TLC about it, I probably would too if I saw my in-laws being called horrible names by faceless people who didn't know them. But when it comes down to it, I think the Duggars are not puppets of TLC and doubtful they ever will be. I think their entire mission is to be an encouragment to as many as they can--just the sight of them with Sara and Samuel in the NICU should prove that.
The entire letter he wrote is very long, so I copied and pasted it into the comment section, if you want to read it.
So the question was, are the Duggars puppets to TLC, especially with all the seemingly staged trips, or are they laughing all the way to the bank. The other remark was from someone who, like me, doesn't share in the Duggar's religious beliefs, but respects them, and enjoys watching them. I put these two together because it struck me as another case of "watching between the lines." I still, naive as it may sound, believe the Duggars are doing this show for honest and upright reasons. I also don't think they let it control their lives--otherwise it would be many many more shows than it is, I could be wrong, but doesn't the Kate show have many more episodes than the Duggars do?
I do think that the Duggars are put in situations that they normally wouldn't think to put themselves in since the show started--trips, outings, etc--and that is due to TLC, but I think they are enjoying them and using those trips to their advantage, not necessarily in a money way, but in a homeschooling way, behind the scenes--again speculation. I think a lot goes on behind the scenes we don't know about--I personally believe they have a "tv life" and a "private life" since this show isn't a documentary, it's set up "theme-style." I have no doubt that TLC pulls some strings. However, I don't believe for a minute that the Duggars would allow their morals, or Faith to be compromised for one moment--if that were to happen, I think they'd walk and walk fast. After all I think that's why Jim Bob's name is listed as a Producer, so he has final say--they said they would only do this if their Faith wasn't edited out. And this Producer credit is apparently new, he wasn't always listed as such, and that may be due to some things that have happened during filming that the Duggars weren't pleased with, or he's just a brilliant business man, or both.
I don't think anyone believes, even the real Duggar believers, for a moment that all the trips are Duggar-planned. While in Little Rock, I'm sure that Jim Bob does want to get the kids out of the house and keep them occupied, as well he should--it's best to remind them that they are still important parts of the family and that while Josie is sick and needs attention, they need attention too. I think TLC is just helping him find places to take them and making those trips easier to come by and making access easier--and in the stressful situation they are going through personally, I'd take the help and just go with it. Back before they had this personal trauma to deal with, I think they took TLC up on the offers of help finding outings, but still used those outings to their advantage on a homeschool basis--of course not all trips on their face will be appropriate for all age kids--but you can, if you work it right, can find something out of any of those trips, to make a valid project for any age homeschooler. Also, trips are trips and experiences are experiences, and regardless of whether they are relevant to school or not, they still are interesting and exciting for the kids and help build up who they are and where they've been.
Jim Bob is not a minister or a man of the cloth. He is a man of Faith, but he is not ordained. He is a real estate investor and former politician and former car salesman. He is a businessman. So, yes, I have no doubt he is constantly eyeing the bottom line. Why shouldn't he? He's in his mid-40s and still has kids in diapers! Even if he does have money coming in from TLC he still has to manage it wisely because he has a large family and it will be at least 20 years before Josie leaves the nest, plus he and Michelle have to think of their retirement.
I have said this before and I will say this again--they do not have a gauge for fame in the TV sense of the word. They don't watch regular television, they don't pay attention to modern media or music, so they have nothing to compare themselves to. Even when asked who Dolly Parton was, someone who had chart topping hits back when they were both in high school and able to listen to her music, didn't know what she was famous for. So when it comes to their own personal fame in regards to television, they have nothing to compare it to. They do, of course, know that they are a famous family, however it could be because you've seen them in People, or on the Today show. For all they know you're waving at them because they are a large family--remember in the first documentary, they said they always got approached long before TLC came knocking. In that respect, they can be naive to what "fame" is.
So because of that, I have no problem in believing that they are true to their word that they are really trying to be an encouragement for others---it's not about fame. I don't have a problem with them being paid a deserving wage for their time and trouble, after all it's not all wine and roses, as we've seen having a camera crew wake you up at 5am as you're leaving on a trip to the airport. I do think there are days they probably wish there wasn't someone following them around, even if that someone has become "part of the family."
That's my take--I will say this, I do feel for the brother-in-law. He was torn. He and his wife did want to be there to support Anna and the Keller family. However, I think he should have been a little more realistic...he and his wife knew going into it, long before they showed up for the wedding that it was going to be filmed for TV and they knew long before they showed up for the wedding that they didn't want to be filmed. I think he either should have signed the waiver without making a fuss about it or opted out of the wedding and done something else to support Anna and the Kellers. Obviously he was angry because he was reading things on the blog about the Kellers that he didn't like and he was blaming it all on TLC, I get that, but what I don't get is that Anna's parents knew from Day 1 that Josh and Josh's family were on a TV show--they said that in their first interview--we like them, not because they are on tv, but because they are great people, or something like that. So Anna's parent's knew what was coming--the rest of her family had to have known too. I think he was kind of out of line about it--did TLC deceive him about the waiver? We only have his word on how it happened, and if they did, that was wrong, but anyone knows, and he obviously seems to know how it works, that if you appear on tv you have to sign a waiver, and he said from the beginning that he didn't want to appear. So again, I ask, why even agree to be in the wedding? You can politely decline and give the reason "I don't want to be on TV." The Kellers, being the nice people he says they are, certainly would have understood. He could have been an usher, done something off screen. Is it just me?
Pulling this together, I think the Duggars have managed to stay on top of their world, without compromising their values, beliefs, or morals. The wedding episode aside, I do think that TLC probably has a lot to say about the episodes, but I do believe that Jim Bob and Michelle have veto-power over what happens and what gets onto the screen. I have no doubt that the wedding day was insane--even without a film crew show me a wedding day that isn't a mad house...no one ready for pictures? Sounds like my first wedding. Actually it sounds typical of any wedding, just add a camera crew and waiver signing. I do feel badly that the Kellers weren't portrayed as well as he feels they should have, I don't remember them being portrayed badly--however this show isn't about the Kellers, it's about the Duggars. Now, at least, we know why we don't see more of the Kellers--Mr. and Mrs. Keller aren't fans of being on film. I think brother-in-law was overly defensive over remarks on a blog by people being mean to his in-laws (the Kellers) and he vented at TLC about it, I probably would too if I saw my in-laws being called horrible names by faceless people who didn't know them. But when it comes down to it, I think the Duggars are not puppets of TLC and doubtful they ever will be. I think their entire mission is to be an encouragment to as many as they can--just the sight of them with Sara and Samuel in the NICU should prove that.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Jill Duggar: Spokesperson For a New Generation
It's only been recently that Jill has come into my radar and she really is a vibrant personality. As I search back my memory to the first two seasons (the only two I have on DVD) I have vivid memories of Jana and Jessa and Jinger doing interviews, and a few of Jill, but it seems that it's this season that Jill is making her big break out and we're seeing more and more of her. I did write a piece a few months ago about not seeing much of Jana and the speculation around that, but Jill has been all over the past few episodes of recent memory.
Jill is the daughter that Michelle has described as being neat and orderly--never having her shoes scuffed or her dressed ruffled. She does a great job wrangling the kids without losing her temper or getting frustrated--at least when the camera is within range, and she seems to have about 8 arms--she can grab a kid here while holding a kid on her hip, while pulling a kid off of this, while yanking a kid down from that...
I just watched the episode where they went to the zoo and seeing Jill handle her siblings was nothing short of amazing. The other thing that was telling about this episode is that we really did get to see that, no, this family is not perfect, these kids are not robots, and they are not little angels. All the older girls, while doing their jurisdictions and pulling their weight do not all have the same personalities and same patience levels--Jinger was clearly not at ease with the little ones in the same way Jill was. And that's good, that's what we want to see, we want to see reality, not pre-packaged perfection that anti-Duggars seem to think TLC is feeding us.
She is very calm, very open, and very at ease on camera. She is probably at ease with the public as well. I'm sure by now she's used to people coming up to her family when they are out and about and I have no doubts that she's capable of having a polite conversation with people she's just met. I see a nurse in Jill Duggar.
I have no doubt that these glimpses into Jill's personality and capabilities with her siblings, especially the young ones will show us how well she could do with NICU babies should she choose to pursue that career as was earlier reported. Nursing isn't easy--it was my major as a Freshman before I switched to English and then again in Graduate School before I swithced to Social Sciences. It's more than taking the classes and absorbing the material--it's almost a calling, a drive, a need to do that type of healing. Not everyone has that in them, even if they can pass the courses. I think what we've seen in Jill is the drive and the calling, I do hope she decides to go through with her goal and make it happen.
Jill is the daughter that Michelle has described as being neat and orderly--never having her shoes scuffed or her dressed ruffled. She does a great job wrangling the kids without losing her temper or getting frustrated--at least when the camera is within range, and she seems to have about 8 arms--she can grab a kid here while holding a kid on her hip, while pulling a kid off of this, while yanking a kid down from that...
I just watched the episode where they went to the zoo and seeing Jill handle her siblings was nothing short of amazing. The other thing that was telling about this episode is that we really did get to see that, no, this family is not perfect, these kids are not robots, and they are not little angels. All the older girls, while doing their jurisdictions and pulling their weight do not all have the same personalities and same patience levels--Jinger was clearly not at ease with the little ones in the same way Jill was. And that's good, that's what we want to see, we want to see reality, not pre-packaged perfection that anti-Duggars seem to think TLC is feeding us.
She is very calm, very open, and very at ease on camera. She is probably at ease with the public as well. I'm sure by now she's used to people coming up to her family when they are out and about and I have no doubts that she's capable of having a polite conversation with people she's just met. I see a nurse in Jill Duggar.
I have no doubt that these glimpses into Jill's personality and capabilities with her siblings, especially the young ones will show us how well she could do with NICU babies should she choose to pursue that career as was earlier reported. Nursing isn't easy--it was my major as a Freshman before I switched to English and then again in Graduate School before I swithced to Social Sciences. It's more than taking the classes and absorbing the material--it's almost a calling, a drive, a need to do that type of healing. Not everyone has that in them, even if they can pass the courses. I think what we've seen in Jill is the drive and the calling, I do hope she decides to go through with her goal and make it happen.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Daughter-in-Love: Anna Comes Out of Her Shell
I love Anna. I think she and Josh make a great couple, but this isn't abou them, this is about HER. I think that she has done a great job jumping into this family with both feet and taking on a role of "public" life well. Not many people could handle being a newlywed (in every sense of the word) and have it filmed for the world to see.
We don't know a lot about Anna's life before Josh, but we know a little, and some things people seem to gloss over. She is constantly referred to as having a "sheltered life." And while that may be true in the sense that she grew up in a home school/ATI family like Josh did, she wasn't as sheltered as you may think. After all, her father was called to lead a prison ministry for youthful offenders. That took him to juvenile detention centers around Florida. Anna has spoken about helping her father with his ministry after graduating, so visiting youth prisons isn't exactly 'sheltered' in my point of view.
While she has had a different upbringing than Josh, we've seen where she grew up and it wasn't as prosperous as the Duggars, but still a close-knit family full of lots of love, she carries herself with such pride and passion that she is such an equal match for Josh. I read comments that Josh over-powers her and even "abuses" her emotionally, and that just angers me. All I see is Josh the usual camera-hog, but Anna carries herself with a normalcy that "growing up Duggar" hasn't seemed to give Josh (i.e. being on time, waking up in the morning, staying on task.) No I'm not bashing Josh, just remembering the episode when she was trying to get him to put balloons on cars at the carlot!
I think all it took was a season of being on camera to get her out of her shell. This second season of Anna has seen her growing, talking more, really sharing more of her feelings, and personality. She's witty, charming, funny, and not a pious, quiet little mouse that everyone assumed she was at the beginning of their engagement and marriage. I also think at the beginning, especially when she found out she was pregnant, she was intimidated by Michelle, not because of the usual Mother-in-love (that's the term they use) issues, but because, let's face it, she married the son of one of the most famous Mothers there is...and now she's about to be a mother herself! Who wouldn't be intimidated? I think Michelle getting pregnant while Anna was pregnant actually took some pressure off, Anna seemed a little relieved, but if I'm not mistaken, also a little weirded-out--did anyone else catch that?
I think Anna is a great Duggar addition and just might not be the follower that everyone thinks she is. I have a feeling that behind closed doors Josh does a lot of listening.
We don't know a lot about Anna's life before Josh, but we know a little, and some things people seem to gloss over. She is constantly referred to as having a "sheltered life." And while that may be true in the sense that she grew up in a home school/ATI family like Josh did, she wasn't as sheltered as you may think. After all, her father was called to lead a prison ministry for youthful offenders. That took him to juvenile detention centers around Florida. Anna has spoken about helping her father with his ministry after graduating, so visiting youth prisons isn't exactly 'sheltered' in my point of view.
While she has had a different upbringing than Josh, we've seen where she grew up and it wasn't as prosperous as the Duggars, but still a close-knit family full of lots of love, she carries herself with such pride and passion that she is such an equal match for Josh. I read comments that Josh over-powers her and even "abuses" her emotionally, and that just angers me. All I see is Josh the usual camera-hog, but Anna carries herself with a normalcy that "growing up Duggar" hasn't seemed to give Josh (i.e. being on time, waking up in the morning, staying on task.) No I'm not bashing Josh, just remembering the episode when she was trying to get him to put balloons on cars at the carlot!
I think all it took was a season of being on camera to get her out of her shell. This second season of Anna has seen her growing, talking more, really sharing more of her feelings, and personality. She's witty, charming, funny, and not a pious, quiet little mouse that everyone assumed she was at the beginning of their engagement and marriage. I also think at the beginning, especially when she found out she was pregnant, she was intimidated by Michelle, not because of the usual Mother-in-love (that's the term they use) issues, but because, let's face it, she married the son of one of the most famous Mothers there is...and now she's about to be a mother herself! Who wouldn't be intimidated? I think Michelle getting pregnant while Anna was pregnant actually took some pressure off, Anna seemed a little relieved, but if I'm not mistaken, also a little weirded-out--did anyone else catch that?
I think Anna is a great Duggar addition and just might not be the follower that everyone thinks she is. I have a feeling that behind closed doors Josh does a lot of listening.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Duggar Encouragement: Things the Duggars Have Taught Me
While there are some things the Duggars and I will never see eye to eye on, I will say that by watching the show and reading their book, I have learned a few things from them. I'll share mine, and you can share yours.
1) There is always a cheaper place to buy food--I was a bargain food shopper before the Duggars, but they've taught me to always look for a bargain regardless
2) Motels have a "walk-out" rate--you can actually negotiate with hotels/motels for a better rate and not just accept the rate they quote you--who knew? I've never been that bold, until my parents came to stay for a week, and it actually worked--we got them $10 lower than the lowest rate for the entire week by going in person and talking to them directly.
3) Potty training--this is something I am working on now that my daughter is 3--why did I wait? Well Michelle Duggar made a very valid point in their book...why try training them to use the potty before they are old enough to pull down and pull up their own pants by themselves? Otherwise you're in there every single time they have to go anyway, you may as well be changing nappies...we are still in the training phase and it's not going as smoothly as I'd like it to be, but hey, she can pull up and pull down her own pants!
4) Quiet praise and encouragement works better than ranting raving and screaming...even when ranting raving and screaming at your child is what you really feel like doing....
5) If you want your child to grow up in your Faith, have them see you practice your Faith...take them to your place of worship with you, see them read the manuscript your Faith follows and read it to them, pray with them and let them see you pray...
6) Simple meals really can be satifying (not necessarily theirs, but simple ones nonetheless :)
7) It's important to spend quality time with your spouse and share your feelings with him/her no matter how many kids you have or how busy your day has been
8) Children really ARE a blessing
I know there are many many more and will continue to be more as the Duggars continue to share their lives with us....
1) There is always a cheaper place to buy food--I was a bargain food shopper before the Duggars, but they've taught me to always look for a bargain regardless
2) Motels have a "walk-out" rate--you can actually negotiate with hotels/motels for a better rate and not just accept the rate they quote you--who knew? I've never been that bold, until my parents came to stay for a week, and it actually worked--we got them $10 lower than the lowest rate for the entire week by going in person and talking to them directly.
3) Potty training--this is something I am working on now that my daughter is 3--why did I wait? Well Michelle Duggar made a very valid point in their book...why try training them to use the potty before they are old enough to pull down and pull up their own pants by themselves? Otherwise you're in there every single time they have to go anyway, you may as well be changing nappies...we are still in the training phase and it's not going as smoothly as I'd like it to be, but hey, she can pull up and pull down her own pants!
4) Quiet praise and encouragement works better than ranting raving and screaming...even when ranting raving and screaming at your child is what you really feel like doing....
5) If you want your child to grow up in your Faith, have them see you practice your Faith...take them to your place of worship with you, see them read the manuscript your Faith follows and read it to them, pray with them and let them see you pray...
6) Simple meals really can be satifying (not necessarily theirs, but simple ones nonetheless :)
7) It's important to spend quality time with your spouse and share your feelings with him/her no matter how many kids you have or how busy your day has been
8) Children really ARE a blessing
I know there are many many more and will continue to be more as the Duggars continue to share their lives with us....
Saturday, May 22, 2010
20 Kids and Counting?
There's been talk in a few of the comments on a resent post about the new People article and I finally got ahold of it, and here it is:
http://preesi.lefora.com/2010/05/20/bonus-people-scans-of-josie-duggar-may-31st-2010/#post0
What does it mean? Well I have a lot to say about it, especially after my blog about "reading between the lines." First of all, I have a lot to say about the "psychologists" they quoted. It angers me that they say it's wrong to put so much "burden" on the older children. I suppose that would be true in a normal situation. However, this is ANYTHING but a normal situation. I think that any family that cares about each other would be bending over backwards to do whatever they could to help each other in a situation like this. Heck, I just had my gallbladder out, a minor procedure these days, where you're home after a few hours and better after a few days (according to my lying surgeon hahaha) and my parents were willing to drive 640 miles to spend a week with us and take care of my daughter for me while my husband kept working. Also, their "older children" are now adults--these "psychologists" don't bother to mention that.
I have nothing against the psychology/psychiatry fields. I've used them in the past. However, unsolicited observations by doctors that have never met the family are ridiculous. I don't recall the Duggars asking for any therapy or advice, rather it was People who asked for someone to anchor the article.
What does amaze me and also impress me is that Michelle and Jim Bob were so frank and honest about their marriage and how they've been with each other during this time. I've said it in other blogs and in this one in the comments that I have noticed on the show that Jim Bob and Michelle are rarely filmed anywhere near each other--not the lovey-dovey couple they usually are, but at the same time they are only filming her either leaving for the hospital or at the hospital. So hearing she spends 15 hrs a day there makes sense as to why. I've also said that she probably hasn't lost any baby weight because she's probably stress eating, she's eating a lot of extra protein and extra fluid to keep the pumping of milk going, and she is getting little or no exercise, so that's why she may look pregnant and not be. I also doubt that they are as intimate as usual because she says she gets up every 4 hours to pump--doesn't sound like a lot of romance going on.
But on the other hand, with fighting comes make-up sex. And in times of stress comes clinging together. It wouldn't surprise me if they are continuing with their intimate relationship. Her comment that was vague "...I don't know, maybe..." says it all. But then, I say that too, because until my cycle starts, I don't know either, since we don't use birth control. I was also told by my nurse in the UK that you are the most fertile right after having a child, so those first few months were vital--but also she was healing--who knows?
I love how this family sticks together, looks forward, holds true to their beliefs, and thinks positively. Baruch Hashem!
http://preesi.lefora.com/2010/05/20/bonus-people-scans-of-josie-duggar-may-31st-2010/#post0
What does it mean? Well I have a lot to say about it, especially after my blog about "reading between the lines." First of all, I have a lot to say about the "psychologists" they quoted. It angers me that they say it's wrong to put so much "burden" on the older children. I suppose that would be true in a normal situation. However, this is ANYTHING but a normal situation. I think that any family that cares about each other would be bending over backwards to do whatever they could to help each other in a situation like this. Heck, I just had my gallbladder out, a minor procedure these days, where you're home after a few hours and better after a few days (according to my lying surgeon hahaha) and my parents were willing to drive 640 miles to spend a week with us and take care of my daughter for me while my husband kept working. Also, their "older children" are now adults--these "psychologists" don't bother to mention that.
I have nothing against the psychology/psychiatry fields. I've used them in the past. However, unsolicited observations by doctors that have never met the family are ridiculous. I don't recall the Duggars asking for any therapy or advice, rather it was People who asked for someone to anchor the article.
What does amaze me and also impress me is that Michelle and Jim Bob were so frank and honest about their marriage and how they've been with each other during this time. I've said it in other blogs and in this one in the comments that I have noticed on the show that Jim Bob and Michelle are rarely filmed anywhere near each other--not the lovey-dovey couple they usually are, but at the same time they are only filming her either leaving for the hospital or at the hospital. So hearing she spends 15 hrs a day there makes sense as to why. I've also said that she probably hasn't lost any baby weight because she's probably stress eating, she's eating a lot of extra protein and extra fluid to keep the pumping of milk going, and she is getting little or no exercise, so that's why she may look pregnant and not be. I also doubt that they are as intimate as usual because she says she gets up every 4 hours to pump--doesn't sound like a lot of romance going on.
But on the other hand, with fighting comes make-up sex. And in times of stress comes clinging together. It wouldn't surprise me if they are continuing with their intimate relationship. Her comment that was vague "...I don't know, maybe..." says it all. But then, I say that too, because until my cycle starts, I don't know either, since we don't use birth control. I was also told by my nurse in the UK that you are the most fertile right after having a child, so those first few months were vital--but also she was healing--who knows?
I love how this family sticks together, looks forward, holds true to their beliefs, and thinks positively. Baruch Hashem!
Friday, May 21, 2010
Career Gals: Duggar Daughters Talk Careers
On a positive note, Michelle has blogged about Jana and Jills career goals. This should hopefully take some of the wind from the sails of those who choose to believe that the Duggar parents refuse to let their adult female children have lives outside the home. Someone posted these links on a message board if you want to read the entire articles:
http://www.examiner.com/x-49382-19-Kids-and-Counting-Examiner~y2010m5d14-Michelle-Duggar-talks-about-oldest-daughter-Jana-and-her-career-plans
http://www.examiner.com/x-49382-19-Kids-and-Counting-Examiner~y2010m5d20-Jill-Duggar-wants-to-pursue-nursing-career-after-seeing-Josie-in-hospital
Michelle talks about Jana's desire of midwifery or being a doula, however she also discusses a career goal that most of us probably overlooked--teaching and performing with her harp!
Concerning Jana’s interest in midwifery, Michelle says, “Jana has helped with a doula. She hasn’t worked alongside with an actual midwife yet. She’s assisted with labor and delivery, kind of getting her feet wet to see if she really likes that realm of work.” If Jana were to decide to become a midwife, a minimum of one year of clinical training is required, including at least 1,350 hours under the direction of a supervising midwife. A midwife candidate must also pass the North American Registry of Midwives written exam and skills assessment to become certified. Training is less rigorous to become a doula or childbirth educator. However, according to Michelle Duggar, Jana may choose music over midwifery.
“It’s interesting, she’s doing some music studies, and she’s pursuing some more in-depth harp. There’s good money to be made in harp-playing because it’s not something a lot of people do,” said Mom Michelle of her oldest daughter. All of the Duggar children learn how to play a musical instrument at an early age. Jana Duggar has excelled at the harp. She also gives music lessons to others. “Music is something she likes to do. I wouldn’t be surprised if she became a music teacher eventually,” Michelle added.
I posted this on another blog that discusses the Duggars to let everyone know (anti-Duggars mostly) that Jana is looking at her future and it isn't all babies and family. It angers me when people just assume that the girls in this family have nothing to look forward to but a life of babies and family--UNLESS THAT'S WHAT THEY CHOOSE! Frankly, that's what I want...work never turned out to be something I enjoyed, but a lot of women DO want careers, my mom loved her job and it was a huge part of her life and who she was before she retired.
And now Jill has decided that nursing really is her passion, especially after seeing Josie in the NICU. Michelle says that Jill is currently checking into nursing courses at nearby colleges. “I can see her doing that. She just literally loves people,“ mom said of her second daughter. “It takes a special person to be a nurse and to be in that realm. She’s definitely interested in that, so we’ll see,” Michelle added on her most recent TLC blog entry. Frankly, I CAN see Jill as a nurse. She is the one who is the care-taker, the patient, kind, over-seer. I have no doubt that Jill has what it takes to make it through a nursing program. And luckily there are several to choose from right in her back yard. Arkansas has 17 different nursing programs at colleges, universities and medical centers. The closest one to her home is the Har-Ber School of Nursing, located right in Springdale. The University of Arkansas at Little Rock and Baptist Medical Center are two of the state's largest and most popular nursing programs in Arkansas.
It angers me when people assume that Jim Bob and Michelle have their children's lives mapped out for them. Jim Bob and Michelle constantly talk about G-d giving people the gift of free will--why wouldn't they allow their children to exercise it?
http://www.examiner.com/x-49382-19-Kids-and-Counting-Examiner~y2010m5d14-Michelle-Duggar-talks-about-oldest-daughter-Jana-and-her-career-plans
http://www.examiner.com/x-49382-19-Kids-and-Counting-Examiner~y2010m5d20-Jill-Duggar-wants-to-pursue-nursing-career-after-seeing-Josie-in-hospital
Michelle talks about Jana's desire of midwifery or being a doula, however she also discusses a career goal that most of us probably overlooked--teaching and performing with her harp!
Concerning Jana’s interest in midwifery, Michelle says, “Jana has helped with a doula. She hasn’t worked alongside with an actual midwife yet. She’s assisted with labor and delivery, kind of getting her feet wet to see if she really likes that realm of work.” If Jana were to decide to become a midwife, a minimum of one year of clinical training is required, including at least 1,350 hours under the direction of a supervising midwife. A midwife candidate must also pass the North American Registry of Midwives written exam and skills assessment to become certified. Training is less rigorous to become a doula or childbirth educator. However, according to Michelle Duggar, Jana may choose music over midwifery.
“It’s interesting, she’s doing some music studies, and she’s pursuing some more in-depth harp. There’s good money to be made in harp-playing because it’s not something a lot of people do,” said Mom Michelle of her oldest daughter. All of the Duggar children learn how to play a musical instrument at an early age. Jana Duggar has excelled at the harp. She also gives music lessons to others. “Music is something she likes to do. I wouldn’t be surprised if she became a music teacher eventually,” Michelle added.
I posted this on another blog that discusses the Duggars to let everyone know (anti-Duggars mostly) that Jana is looking at her future and it isn't all babies and family. It angers me when people just assume that the girls in this family have nothing to look forward to but a life of babies and family--UNLESS THAT'S WHAT THEY CHOOSE! Frankly, that's what I want...work never turned out to be something I enjoyed, but a lot of women DO want careers, my mom loved her job and it was a huge part of her life and who she was before she retired.
And now Jill has decided that nursing really is her passion, especially after seeing Josie in the NICU. Michelle says that Jill is currently checking into nursing courses at nearby colleges. “I can see her doing that. She just literally loves people,“ mom said of her second daughter. “It takes a special person to be a nurse and to be in that realm. She’s definitely interested in that, so we’ll see,” Michelle added on her most recent TLC blog entry. Frankly, I CAN see Jill as a nurse. She is the one who is the care-taker, the patient, kind, over-seer. I have no doubt that Jill has what it takes to make it through a nursing program. And luckily there are several to choose from right in her back yard. Arkansas has 17 different nursing programs at colleges, universities and medical centers. The closest one to her home is the Har-Ber School of Nursing, located right in Springdale. The University of Arkansas at Little Rock and Baptist Medical Center are two of the state's largest and most popular nursing programs in Arkansas.
It angers me when people assume that Jim Bob and Michelle have their children's lives mapped out for them. Jim Bob and Michelle constantly talk about G-d giving people the gift of free will--why wouldn't they allow their children to exercise it?
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Duggar Fan or Duggar Maniac?
Someone on a message board brought up the point that none of us personally know the Duggars, so why are we posting that they are "such great parents." How do we really know this from what we see on TV? Frankly, I've been accused as a blog-writer of being too one-sided and not seeing the Duggars for what they really are--whatever that person seems to think they really are. I supposed since it's been awhile and people are now only reading the new blog posts, I'm getting the idea that no one reads the "what this blog is all about" post at the beginning, so it's time to reiterate my stance on the Duggars and my own personal beliefs--and what lays between.
There is a lot that I don't agree with when it comes to Duggar Dogma. The first one is obvious and that is I'm not Christian, I'm Jewish. I also happen to be pro-choice and I also happen to be pro-gay marriage, not only that, but I'm very vocal and vote those two opinions. I was also raised by conservative Old Testament parents (Presbyterians) so they weren't strict about fundamentalism or evangelism, but with a mother who taught chemistry and biology I was also taught that evolution and the Bible weren't contradictory--they could walk hand in hand and make sense with each other. Before you ask, I was adopted and my birth mother was Jewish.
I am also smart, sorry if that sounds egotistical, but get over it. I went to college, I have degrees, and frankly and IQ off the charts. Yeah yeah, I'm trying to be honest here. I know how to read between the lines, and with a TV show like the Duggars, you have to read between the lines a lot to see the deeper meaning, and see what's really going on. I also watch the episodes more than once. I've also read their book and read the magazine articles that pop up here and there, so I have a general knowledge of what's known publicly about the Duggar family. I've admitted that I'm lazy and unwilling to a lot of research to go back and fact-check as well as having a "mommy" memory, so when I get it wrong, I admit it after someone around here corrects me.
Now let's go back a step and talk about reading between the lines. It seems to me that a lot of anti-Duggars seem to take a lot of Duggar activities on face value and I think that's wrong. I think you have to look deeper, especially when there are that many children in the frame, that much action going on, and truly analyze the situation. My other point here is that you also need to watch the show from Season One and know the family from the beginning--watching one or two episodes from Season Four and deciding the family is this way or that way, isn't making an educated observation. You also have to understand circumstances, their past, their history, their beliefs (seriously understand and know their beliefs, not just think you know their beliefs), and base your statements on some facts.
I've also said you need to understand what this family is currently going through emotionally, and that's something the anti-Duggar faction seems to be refusing to do. Instead of acknowledging that a premie can happen via pre-eclampsia at any time to any one (it happened to me to my first and only baby) they are blaming Michelle for Josie's premature birth because Michelle chose to have 19 kids.
Now here is where I do have something in common with the Duggars. I've been to a NICU to visit my baby. I've walked those halls and been through those doors and I've dreaded every minute of it. I HATED going every single time I had to go and I had to force myself to do it. I hated having the nurses watch over me, I hated having them stand over me as I fed her, changed her nappy, and put on her new clothes, and most of all I hated that I couldn't just check her out and take her home. I hated that in the NICU, I wasn't her mommy. I had to wait for 2 weeks to be the mommy to my newborn. Now that sounds like nothing to a lot of people, but to my husband and me, it was a lifetime, especially when you waited a lifetime to have a child.
So do I understand why Jim Bob and Michelle took an offer to go to Wisconsin to speak at a conference why Josie was in the NICU? Yes, I do. Did I get flack for it from an anti-Duggar? Yes I did. Do I care? No, I don't. Why? Because I've been where Jim Bob and Michelle are and it sucks...sorry, but that's what it does...it sucks the life right out of you...and if that's what it takes, a weekend away, fine--go...so what if it's a conference where you're the speakers. Who cares? Their daughter was in the best possible hands she could have been in, what could Jim Bob and Michelle done for her if they had still been in Little Rock? Frankly I think it's just another think for anti-Duggars to complain about.
I respect the Duggar family for their ability to hang together when the times get tough and when the times are good. I respect their ability to raise a family the way they want to and have it work. The fact that they can put together a plan and have it come together amazes me since I can barely get my day together, let alone a life plan. Yes, I respect them. I enjoy watching the show for their financial advice and as a romantic hope to see some weddings coming up, but as far as manical fan? I wouldn't go there.
Now back to what this blog was going to be about.....the rest of the fans....we've covered me...how about everyone else? Are they over the top in their glorification of Jim Bob and Michelle? Are they right to post things about how inspirational the Duggars are? Frankly I don't have a problem with that, after all, that was the point of the show from the Duggar's standpoint in the beginning. They wanted a show that inspired others to be better people, not necessarily better Christians, just better people.
Do I think people sometimes think the Duggars are perfect? I think some fans get over-zealous in their defense of the Duggars on fan pages and that's a little sad. The Duggars themselves will admit QUICKLY that they are not perfect. The Duggars have many flaws and we all, as fans, can list our own things about the Duggars that bother us (no need to) but that doesn't mean we still don't admire them and have aspirations to be more like them in some small ways. I didn't say everyway, I said some small ways.
I do think it's important as fans to remember that the Duggars are real people, just like the rest of us. They make mistakes, they stumble, they sin, they fail, and they fall. Do we see this on their TV show? Not very often if at all. Why? It's not entertainment. Seeing Josie in the NICU is drama enough, the rest of the episode is play time.
I think everyone needs to read their book and that will ground a lot of their fans. It might also educate a lot of their detractors. Their fans will realize that they can still be inspired by Jim Bob and Michelle, but see them as real people, not the perfect family we're shown on television, and their detractors can learn the facts instead of spewing out rumour and inuendo on fan pages just to incite unnecessary drama.
There is a lot that I don't agree with when it comes to Duggar Dogma. The first one is obvious and that is I'm not Christian, I'm Jewish. I also happen to be pro-choice and I also happen to be pro-gay marriage, not only that, but I'm very vocal and vote those two opinions. I was also raised by conservative Old Testament parents (Presbyterians) so they weren't strict about fundamentalism or evangelism, but with a mother who taught chemistry and biology I was also taught that evolution and the Bible weren't contradictory--they could walk hand in hand and make sense with each other. Before you ask, I was adopted and my birth mother was Jewish.
I am also smart, sorry if that sounds egotistical, but get over it. I went to college, I have degrees, and frankly and IQ off the charts. Yeah yeah, I'm trying to be honest here. I know how to read between the lines, and with a TV show like the Duggars, you have to read between the lines a lot to see the deeper meaning, and see what's really going on. I also watch the episodes more than once. I've also read their book and read the magazine articles that pop up here and there, so I have a general knowledge of what's known publicly about the Duggar family. I've admitted that I'm lazy and unwilling to a lot of research to go back and fact-check as well as having a "mommy" memory, so when I get it wrong, I admit it after someone around here corrects me.
Now let's go back a step and talk about reading between the lines. It seems to me that a lot of anti-Duggars seem to take a lot of Duggar activities on face value and I think that's wrong. I think you have to look deeper, especially when there are that many children in the frame, that much action going on, and truly analyze the situation. My other point here is that you also need to watch the show from Season One and know the family from the beginning--watching one or two episodes from Season Four and deciding the family is this way or that way, isn't making an educated observation. You also have to understand circumstances, their past, their history, their beliefs (seriously understand and know their beliefs, not just think you know their beliefs), and base your statements on some facts.
I've also said you need to understand what this family is currently going through emotionally, and that's something the anti-Duggar faction seems to be refusing to do. Instead of acknowledging that a premie can happen via pre-eclampsia at any time to any one (it happened to me to my first and only baby) they are blaming Michelle for Josie's premature birth because Michelle chose to have 19 kids.
Now here is where I do have something in common with the Duggars. I've been to a NICU to visit my baby. I've walked those halls and been through those doors and I've dreaded every minute of it. I HATED going every single time I had to go and I had to force myself to do it. I hated having the nurses watch over me, I hated having them stand over me as I fed her, changed her nappy, and put on her new clothes, and most of all I hated that I couldn't just check her out and take her home. I hated that in the NICU, I wasn't her mommy. I had to wait for 2 weeks to be the mommy to my newborn. Now that sounds like nothing to a lot of people, but to my husband and me, it was a lifetime, especially when you waited a lifetime to have a child.
So do I understand why Jim Bob and Michelle took an offer to go to Wisconsin to speak at a conference why Josie was in the NICU? Yes, I do. Did I get flack for it from an anti-Duggar? Yes I did. Do I care? No, I don't. Why? Because I've been where Jim Bob and Michelle are and it sucks...sorry, but that's what it does...it sucks the life right out of you...and if that's what it takes, a weekend away, fine--go...so what if it's a conference where you're the speakers. Who cares? Their daughter was in the best possible hands she could have been in, what could Jim Bob and Michelle done for her if they had still been in Little Rock? Frankly I think it's just another think for anti-Duggars to complain about.
I respect the Duggar family for their ability to hang together when the times get tough and when the times are good. I respect their ability to raise a family the way they want to and have it work. The fact that they can put together a plan and have it come together amazes me since I can barely get my day together, let alone a life plan. Yes, I respect them. I enjoy watching the show for their financial advice and as a romantic hope to see some weddings coming up, but as far as manical fan? I wouldn't go there.
Now back to what this blog was going to be about.....the rest of the fans....we've covered me...how about everyone else? Are they over the top in their glorification of Jim Bob and Michelle? Are they right to post things about how inspirational the Duggars are? Frankly I don't have a problem with that, after all, that was the point of the show from the Duggar's standpoint in the beginning. They wanted a show that inspired others to be better people, not necessarily better Christians, just better people.
Do I think people sometimes think the Duggars are perfect? I think some fans get over-zealous in their defense of the Duggars on fan pages and that's a little sad. The Duggars themselves will admit QUICKLY that they are not perfect. The Duggars have many flaws and we all, as fans, can list our own things about the Duggars that bother us (no need to) but that doesn't mean we still don't admire them and have aspirations to be more like them in some small ways. I didn't say everyway, I said some small ways.
I do think it's important as fans to remember that the Duggars are real people, just like the rest of us. They make mistakes, they stumble, they sin, they fail, and they fall. Do we see this on their TV show? Not very often if at all. Why? It's not entertainment. Seeing Josie in the NICU is drama enough, the rest of the episode is play time.
I think everyone needs to read their book and that will ground a lot of their fans. It might also educate a lot of their detractors. Their fans will realize that they can still be inspired by Jim Bob and Michelle, but see them as real people, not the perfect family we're shown on television, and their detractors can learn the facts instead of spewing out rumour and inuendo on fan pages just to incite unnecessary drama.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
WWDD: What Would The Duggars Do?
Have you ever been going along your day and stopped to ask yourself: what would The Duggars do in this situation? I actually have. For the most part it usually has to do with things financial--groceries, thrift shopping--do I really need that? But the more time I spend on the message boards, reading how people love the family and appreciate their morals and character and how they raise their children.
When I see people write bad things about them, of course my first instict is to correct them, with facts, but also to belittle, add a few snarky remarks of my own, and tell them exactly where they can take a flying leap. But I have to ask myself, "Is this what the Duggars would do?" No probably not.
There are a lot of instances you can ask yourself that. No, the Duggars are not perfect and lately I've been accused of thinking this family is infallable and perfect. What this detractor fails to realize is that one of my main goals is that by playing "devil's advocate" I hope to make people who are less than fans, see these people in a different light than they might currently see them. No, I don't think they are perfect, how can I when I disagree with most of their beliefs and state so in the beginning of my "what this blog is about" statement? But I can see them as moral and ethical and trying to do right. You can always try, regardless of how the results turn out. That's one thing I have learned from them, you can always try to be a good person, even if you fall short.
I made a comment under one of the blogs, I don't even remember which one, something to the effect that I can act like a Jew and practice the part, but it doesn't necessarily make me a better person....that has to come from within...just because I dress the part and say the prescribed prayers and eat the diet and show up on time to shul, I still have to have the right heart and soul.
Rewatch a few episodes, those of you that own the first few seasons. Relearn the qualities the Duggars are teaching their children. Then start asking yourself when you get in a quandry ....What Would a Duggar Do? See if it helps...
When I see people write bad things about them, of course my first instict is to correct them, with facts, but also to belittle, add a few snarky remarks of my own, and tell them exactly where they can take a flying leap. But I have to ask myself, "Is this what the Duggars would do?" No probably not.
There are a lot of instances you can ask yourself that. No, the Duggars are not perfect and lately I've been accused of thinking this family is infallable and perfect. What this detractor fails to realize is that one of my main goals is that by playing "devil's advocate" I hope to make people who are less than fans, see these people in a different light than they might currently see them. No, I don't think they are perfect, how can I when I disagree with most of their beliefs and state so in the beginning of my "what this blog is about" statement? But I can see them as moral and ethical and trying to do right. You can always try, regardless of how the results turn out. That's one thing I have learned from them, you can always try to be a good person, even if you fall short.
I made a comment under one of the blogs, I don't even remember which one, something to the effect that I can act like a Jew and practice the part, but it doesn't necessarily make me a better person....that has to come from within...just because I dress the part and say the prescribed prayers and eat the diet and show up on time to shul, I still have to have the right heart and soul.
Rewatch a few episodes, those of you that own the first few seasons. Relearn the qualities the Duggars are teaching their children. Then start asking yourself when you get in a quandry ....What Would a Duggar Do? See if it helps...
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Duggar Abuse: Teaching Their Children To Handle The Negatives
The Duggars didn't go into this blindly. I'm sure they realized that by putting themselves on national tv, they'd not only garner themselves fans, but they'd also garner themselves some negative responses as well. There is a message board on the TLC website that posts probably more negative Duggar comments than positive ones, at least the few times I've been there--but to be fair it was during the "Wisconsin incident"--so they know that there are people out there that aren't fans. Besides my small little blog there are greater, more popular ones that also get their fair share of negative comments.
I doubt the Duggars themselves cruise the Internet looking for "bad press" but it wouldn't surprise me if a producer from the show, or a producer's lackey had the task of reading message boards and blogs just to keep up with the Duggar's popularity and see how the public is feeling about them. Why else would TLC have a monitored message board right there at their fingertips, as well as a monitored Facebook page?
We learned from the "Josh and Anna Engagement" episode that they get a lot of emails about the older girls--I believe the comment was about marriage proposals and it was made by Jim Bob. Either Jinger or Jessa made the comment that most of those were "from creeps." So again, they probably get emails to their website that aren't all that friendly.
I tend to spend time on the Facebook page for "19 Kids and Counting" both as a way to network for the blog, a way to get ideas for blog topics, and to see what's new in "Duggar-land" as TLC posts previews there, plus extra interviews with Michelle. The rumour was that TLC deleted negative comments from the Facebook page, but I've seen many negative comments there--with a rise of defenders attacking the person who dare to make the comment--and so far I haven't seen those deleted, but that's just me. I don't sit there 24/7 monitoring so it could happen. Some people could also remove their comments once they are made and attacked--I've deleted old blog announcements after making new ones, so you never know. One person who was there a few days ago talking Duggar disappeared--along with his account--while I think he was just there to stir up trouble and play with those "true believers" and drive them nuts, I think he deleted it himself, not Facebook or TLC. He had his fun, then he was done.
So how do the Duggars teach their children how to handle any negativity they may encounter while undergoing this tv project? Well thankfully someone asked this question and Jinger (when she was 14) gave us the answer in their book The Duggars: 20 and Counting!
"Our parents have taught us to work at doing right and not worry what others think of us. yes, sometimes we hear some negative and potentially hurtful comments. but when those negative comments come, we are reminded to accept the ten unchangeable things about ourselves that make each person a unique individual: 1) the way G-d made us, 2) our parents, 3) our brothers and sisters, 4) our nationality, 5) our mental capacity, 6) our time in history, 7) our gender, 8) our birth order and placement in our family, 9) the fact that we grow older as the years pass, and 10) the fact that life is a race against time and the best way to use that time is to serve G-d and others."
Now to me, some of these do sound great and a great way to boost your self-esteem. I'll admit, on it's face, without some deeper explanation, some sound like fillers to make the list come out to 10. I do see where it was made to fit their family, obviously not every family can use this: what if you don't have siblings--no brothers and sisters, no birth order and placement in the family--and while these things do make you an individual and a unique person--how exactly do they help boost your self-esteem when someone makes a negative comment about you? I'm not saying they are bad things, I'm saying I need more information. This is probably because I was the baby of the family? Maybe that's why I don't get it? Also because I'm not on the best terms with my sibling? No idea.
I do use some of these, to be quite honest, when I'm not feeling all that upbeat about our current situation. For instance, if you're ever feeling down about your food budget, reread a few Laura Ingalls Wilder books and you'll never feel hungry or bored with your diet again. You'll also look at the potato in a whole new light. So "our time in history" is one I appreciate--I don't have to boil water to do my laundry, hitch up a horse to go to town, or sew by hand by candlelight. All in all my life is pretty darn good all of a sudden.
Also "mental capacity" is one that should cheer you up if someone tries to buck themselves up by tearing you down. I merely remind myself of what I've accomplished scholastically and that not everyone could have done that.
I'm not sure about "nationality" unless it's to be thankful that we live in a land so wonderful. After all there are countries out there with much worse living conditions and we should be grateful for the fact that we live here? Is that what they mean by that? I really hope so, because taken another way it could be really really bad.
All in all I think the Duggars have done will in preparing their kids for what to expect and how to handle any negative comments or harsh words they might hear. Keeping them away from the family email is probably wise, and shielding them from certain websites is also a good idea. Why go searching for bad words about yourself if you know you'll probably find it? It's not as if they just threw their kids to the wolves and said "yeah we'll do a tv show, bring it on!"
From reading Jinger's answer, you can see that it's well thought out and it's been repeated to them often--not in a "drilled in" way, but in a way that they know, positively, that their parents care for them and want them to remember the positive things about themselves, always.
I doubt the Duggars themselves cruise the Internet looking for "bad press" but it wouldn't surprise me if a producer from the show, or a producer's lackey had the task of reading message boards and blogs just to keep up with the Duggar's popularity and see how the public is feeling about them. Why else would TLC have a monitored message board right there at their fingertips, as well as a monitored Facebook page?
We learned from the "Josh and Anna Engagement" episode that they get a lot of emails about the older girls--I believe the comment was about marriage proposals and it was made by Jim Bob. Either Jinger or Jessa made the comment that most of those were "from creeps." So again, they probably get emails to their website that aren't all that friendly.
I tend to spend time on the Facebook page for "19 Kids and Counting" both as a way to network for the blog, a way to get ideas for blog topics, and to see what's new in "Duggar-land" as TLC posts previews there, plus extra interviews with Michelle. The rumour was that TLC deleted negative comments from the Facebook page, but I've seen many negative comments there--with a rise of defenders attacking the person who dare to make the comment--and so far I haven't seen those deleted, but that's just me. I don't sit there 24/7 monitoring so it could happen. Some people could also remove their comments once they are made and attacked--I've deleted old blog announcements after making new ones, so you never know. One person who was there a few days ago talking Duggar disappeared--along with his account--while I think he was just there to stir up trouble and play with those "true believers" and drive them nuts, I think he deleted it himself, not Facebook or TLC. He had his fun, then he was done.
So how do the Duggars teach their children how to handle any negativity they may encounter while undergoing this tv project? Well thankfully someone asked this question and Jinger (when she was 14) gave us the answer in their book The Duggars: 20 and Counting!
"Our parents have taught us to work at doing right and not worry what others think of us. yes, sometimes we hear some negative and potentially hurtful comments. but when those negative comments come, we are reminded to accept the ten unchangeable things about ourselves that make each person a unique individual: 1) the way G-d made us, 2) our parents, 3) our brothers and sisters, 4) our nationality, 5) our mental capacity, 6) our time in history, 7) our gender, 8) our birth order and placement in our family, 9) the fact that we grow older as the years pass, and 10) the fact that life is a race against time and the best way to use that time is to serve G-d and others."
Now to me, some of these do sound great and a great way to boost your self-esteem. I'll admit, on it's face, without some deeper explanation, some sound like fillers to make the list come out to 10. I do see where it was made to fit their family, obviously not every family can use this: what if you don't have siblings--no brothers and sisters, no birth order and placement in the family--and while these things do make you an individual and a unique person--how exactly do they help boost your self-esteem when someone makes a negative comment about you? I'm not saying they are bad things, I'm saying I need more information. This is probably because I was the baby of the family? Maybe that's why I don't get it? Also because I'm not on the best terms with my sibling? No idea.
I do use some of these, to be quite honest, when I'm not feeling all that upbeat about our current situation. For instance, if you're ever feeling down about your food budget, reread a few Laura Ingalls Wilder books and you'll never feel hungry or bored with your diet again. You'll also look at the potato in a whole new light. So "our time in history" is one I appreciate--I don't have to boil water to do my laundry, hitch up a horse to go to town, or sew by hand by candlelight. All in all my life is pretty darn good all of a sudden.
Also "mental capacity" is one that should cheer you up if someone tries to buck themselves up by tearing you down. I merely remind myself of what I've accomplished scholastically and that not everyone could have done that.
I'm not sure about "nationality" unless it's to be thankful that we live in a land so wonderful. After all there are countries out there with much worse living conditions and we should be grateful for the fact that we live here? Is that what they mean by that? I really hope so, because taken another way it could be really really bad.
All in all I think the Duggars have done will in preparing their kids for what to expect and how to handle any negative comments or harsh words they might hear. Keeping them away from the family email is probably wise, and shielding them from certain websites is also a good idea. Why go searching for bad words about yourself if you know you'll probably find it? It's not as if they just threw their kids to the wolves and said "yeah we'll do a tv show, bring it on!"
From reading Jinger's answer, you can see that it's well thought out and it's been repeated to them often--not in a "drilled in" way, but in a way that they know, positively, that their parents care for them and want them to remember the positive things about themselves, always.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
TLC Courts the Duggars: A Marriage Made Back in 2004
I stumbled across a conversation on another blog that made me laugh so hard I almost did spit take. "Do the Duggars have a TV show because they are so good looking?" Seriously? Who on earth was asking this question? It had to be someone that had just stumbled upon the show.
You all know me. I love the Duggars and think they're great. Have you all watched "14 Children and Pregnant Again?" Anyone who has seen that first 1 hour special would not be asking that question--do they have a TV show because they are so good looking? Michelle's bangs are out of control while the rest of her hair is a bit frizzy and hanging down her back. Her skin is incredibly pale. And for some reason she is in love with bright red lipstick--the only make-up she uses. The girls are all wearing their matching pinafore dresses (mistakenly referred to often as prairie dresses, but they aren't) and the girls are all also in their awkward stage pre-teen years--all gangly arms and legs and teeth. Even poor Josh had to be filmed with his crew cut during one of the specials when he came home from ATI ALERT camp--and a huge zit.
This was Discovery Health's top-rated show regardless. So they kept coming back for more 1 hour specials. Interestingly, the boys all looked better in the 1 hour specials than they do in the current TV show. They were always in the tan trousers and polo shirts. And of course Jim Bob's hair hasn't moved--ever!
TLC/Discovery came to the Duggars because the audience loved the Duggars--not because of their looks--but because the Duggars are fascinating. They were a family of 14, 15, then 16 children and we got to watch the family grow in front of our very eyes. They let us into their home, watch them build their home, see how they managed their money, handle their food budget, teach their children, organize their household, and when the time came move in and decorate their new home. We also got to see them take a trip across the country and all the excitement that entailed. We got to see how the organized a camper, traveled with all those kids, met new people, homeschooled along the way, and we even got to see that they were human (they had parts of a vacation they liked and didn't like just like everyone else!)
Now that we get to see them on a more regular basis and we've seen them grow, yes, the girls have grown up and they are beautiful. Michelle is more attractive--that is something that happens with pregnancy hormones and some women, your skin changes and your hair changes (she also has teenage daughters that have learned to do hair and have done hair for her!) The girls aren't as awkward as they were when we first met them and now the new viewers just coming to the program don't realize that--all they see are 4 older girls that are attractive and assume *bingo!* TLC gave them a show!
Well I'm sorry to disappoint those of you that think that physical beauty is what brought TLC a callin', but TLC has been courting the Duggars for 6 years now, and those girls were much younger then and there weren't nearly that many Duggars. TLC came a courtin' for the same reason the rest of us serious Duggar watchers did--we want to see a family that lives what they believe, yet is honest enough to admit that they aren't perfect, they do make mistakes--even after 19 kids. A family who knows what is most important and instills that in their children. That is why we watch and why TLC's first special was the most watched on their line-up way back when.
You all know me. I love the Duggars and think they're great. Have you all watched "14 Children and Pregnant Again?" Anyone who has seen that first 1 hour special would not be asking that question--do they have a TV show because they are so good looking? Michelle's bangs are out of control while the rest of her hair is a bit frizzy and hanging down her back. Her skin is incredibly pale. And for some reason she is in love with bright red lipstick--the only make-up she uses. The girls are all wearing their matching pinafore dresses (mistakenly referred to often as prairie dresses, but they aren't) and the girls are all also in their awkward stage pre-teen years--all gangly arms and legs and teeth. Even poor Josh had to be filmed with his crew cut during one of the specials when he came home from ATI ALERT camp--and a huge zit.
This was Discovery Health's top-rated show regardless. So they kept coming back for more 1 hour specials. Interestingly, the boys all looked better in the 1 hour specials than they do in the current TV show. They were always in the tan trousers and polo shirts. And of course Jim Bob's hair hasn't moved--ever!
TLC/Discovery came to the Duggars because the audience loved the Duggars--not because of their looks--but because the Duggars are fascinating. They were a family of 14, 15, then 16 children and we got to watch the family grow in front of our very eyes. They let us into their home, watch them build their home, see how they managed their money, handle their food budget, teach their children, organize their household, and when the time came move in and decorate their new home. We also got to see them take a trip across the country and all the excitement that entailed. We got to see how the organized a camper, traveled with all those kids, met new people, homeschooled along the way, and we even got to see that they were human (they had parts of a vacation they liked and didn't like just like everyone else!)
Now that we get to see them on a more regular basis and we've seen them grow, yes, the girls have grown up and they are beautiful. Michelle is more attractive--that is something that happens with pregnancy hormones and some women, your skin changes and your hair changes (she also has teenage daughters that have learned to do hair and have done hair for her!) The girls aren't as awkward as they were when we first met them and now the new viewers just coming to the program don't realize that--all they see are 4 older girls that are attractive and assume *bingo!* TLC gave them a show!
Well I'm sorry to disappoint those of you that think that physical beauty is what brought TLC a callin', but TLC has been courting the Duggars for 6 years now, and those girls were much younger then and there weren't nearly that many Duggars. TLC came a courtin' for the same reason the rest of us serious Duggar watchers did--we want to see a family that lives what they believe, yet is honest enough to admit that they aren't perfect, they do make mistakes--even after 19 kids. A family who knows what is most important and instills that in their children. That is why we watch and why TLC's first special was the most watched on their line-up way back when.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Duggars in the White House: Could Jim Bob Do It?
We all know Jim Bob has a history in politics. Here's an interesting thought: Could Jim Bob make a run for the White House? I doubt he'd make a successful run, but it sure would be interesting to watch the race. While he does have a lot of fans out there and many people think he's an all around "nice guy" I don't see him as Presidential material--do you?
Do we elect a man to the oval office in this century who doesn't have a college degree? He didn't get elected to his own state's Senate seat.
Do we elect a man to the oval office who is that conservative? We've had conservative Presidents before, that's nothing new, but not THAT conservative. I don't think he'd be able to seriously handle conversations with governments, or even people from other religious backgrounds. Could he? Would he seriously be able to seperate church and state? Frankly I don't think he could.
As far as I know, he hasn't been out of the country, other than the trips to El Salvador--has he been to Europe? Asia? the Middle East? How can a President be taken seriously by other world leaders if he hasn't traveled the world?
Would he have the stones to send our country to war? I'm sure as a Republican he supports our troops and was behind Bush when he started the war we're in now, but if it were up to him, would he be able to make that call? Is he that strong? I only say this because he's never served in the military--granted we've had (and have) leaders that haven't served before, but those Presidents also weren't very eager to go to war either--Clinton's big war claim to fame was the Yugoslavia which isn't Yugoslavia anymore event and the other Balkans and he wasn't keen on the idea of being there. Our current leader is doing his best to undo the war we're in, not start new ones. While I'm not trying to make a political debate or discuss current or past Presidents....I'm just trying to point out that military service is usually brought up during a Presidential campaign.
Now...there are some upsides...he is a great financial manager. I have no doubt that given some time and some ability to lead, he could probably get the budget cut down to something managable. We could even get it balanced. And Michelle would put the word Lady back in First Lady. She is the epitomy of the word lady.
Some downsides, do we want the White House to be thrashed by 18 Duggar kids running amok in an historical building? Can you imagine the Secret Service nightmare of them going anywhere? Would they still want to be on TV? What would happen to Josh and Anna?
He could run as a VP with Sarah Palin. They'd make a great pair. You know I love the Duggars, but you also know I wouldn't vote for him. :)
Do we elect a man to the oval office in this century who doesn't have a college degree? He didn't get elected to his own state's Senate seat.
Do we elect a man to the oval office who is that conservative? We've had conservative Presidents before, that's nothing new, but not THAT conservative. I don't think he'd be able to seriously handle conversations with governments, or even people from other religious backgrounds. Could he? Would he seriously be able to seperate church and state? Frankly I don't think he could.
As far as I know, he hasn't been out of the country, other than the trips to El Salvador--has he been to Europe? Asia? the Middle East? How can a President be taken seriously by other world leaders if he hasn't traveled the world?
Would he have the stones to send our country to war? I'm sure as a Republican he supports our troops and was behind Bush when he started the war we're in now, but if it were up to him, would he be able to make that call? Is he that strong? I only say this because he's never served in the military--granted we've had (and have) leaders that haven't served before, but those Presidents also weren't very eager to go to war either--Clinton's big war claim to fame was the Yugoslavia which isn't Yugoslavia anymore event and the other Balkans and he wasn't keen on the idea of being there. Our current leader is doing his best to undo the war we're in, not start new ones. While I'm not trying to make a political debate or discuss current or past Presidents....I'm just trying to point out that military service is usually brought up during a Presidential campaign.
Now...there are some upsides...he is a great financial manager. I have no doubt that given some time and some ability to lead, he could probably get the budget cut down to something managable. We could even get it balanced. And Michelle would put the word Lady back in First Lady. She is the epitomy of the word lady.
Some downsides, do we want the White House to be thrashed by 18 Duggar kids running amok in an historical building? Can you imagine the Secret Service nightmare of them going anywhere? Would they still want to be on TV? What would happen to Josh and Anna?
He could run as a VP with Sarah Palin. They'd make a great pair. You know I love the Duggars, but you also know I wouldn't vote for him. :)
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