tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200652614352910944.post6163829348693467434..comments2023-04-02T02:41:18.676-07:00Comments on Duggars on my Mind: Live and Let Duggar: Too Controlling? The Patriarcal Lifestyle at a GlanceMarybethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07602076713440953242noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200652614352910944.post-54394948266953996172010-06-01T06:59:51.135-07:002010-06-01T06:59:51.135-07:00MaryBeth
Thank You. I would liek to suggest a boo...MaryBeth<br /><br />Thank You. I would liek to suggest a book for you to read. Inside the Victorian Home:A Portrait of Domestic Life in Victorian England. Very insightful. It details a lot about life int he Victorian age as relates to the family. I have read it thru many times and it provides a lot of information and is not boring (at least I don't think so!) If you can't find a copy at the local library let me know, I might be willing to lend mine for a time.Celtic Morlanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200652614352910944.post-87370246425592966642010-05-27T14:49:39.244-07:002010-05-27T14:49:39.244-07:00Celtic Morla--you bring some very interesting and ...Celtic Morla--you bring some very interesting and wonderful insights that I'd never thought of :) You're absolutely right!Marybethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07602076713440953242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200652614352910944.post-74391421400772368082010-05-27T14:09:53.973-07:002010-05-27T14:09:53.973-07:00I have to insert a comment on the attitude that al...I have to insert a comment on the attitude that all 19 century women stayed hom until arriage and did not work. Where did all the servants for the middle & upper class come from?Woemn from the lower classes who either had no prospect of getting married, came from the poor houses and had no where to go so were sent into servitude. The middle class young ladies were sometimes given the easy ride but quite often if they did not find a husband in a certain period of time they went to work as Governess' or tutors. Life in the previous centuries were not so nice and easy. Look at how mnay women died from diseases that nowadays are unknown to us in first world countries.CelticMorlanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200652614352910944.post-49631482525479136182010-04-23T09:36:11.142-07:002010-04-23T09:36:11.142-07:00i recently read a book called the surrendered wife...i recently read a book called the surrendered wife. it totally changed my perspective on marriage and my relationship with my fiance. we have been living together for a year and a half now, and only recently has my faith become something making me question things (like our living together) but we started living together because neither of us makes enough to live on our own, and that hasn't changed. in addition, i find that with the wedding 5 months a way it would be a bit impractical financially.<br /><br />however, i will say that i generally defer major decisions to him. i find that when i let him be a man, hes more apt to spoil me. we do make financial decisions together though. we will talk about whether or not to join a wholesale club like sams club or costco. and he listens when i suggest we buy a store brand of something or simply try to find a better deal. <br /><br />we are not equals, but every week we haev approximately the same amount of "spending money" we both use this money to buy food. we often split our grocery bill this way because he eats more than i do, so i spend less of my money on food and maybe spend about 20 whereas he will spend 40 to 50. but he buys mostly extras for himself which make his bill so much higher. frozen lunches to bring to work etc. <br /><br />i work part time and right now (he is temporarily on a salary until the end of august) my paycheck is going into savings so we can buy a used car at the end of the year. i actually feel more loved and respected letting him make these decisions. i may bring up something to him and ask him about things. or if im bored and crunching numbers i may point out somethig about his plan i noticed that didnt add up but i always defer to him to make the final decisions. but he always asks me too :-)Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17637864461949512357noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200652614352910944.post-73633080829455756542010-04-05T14:11:39.323-07:002010-04-05T14:11:39.323-07:00I'm sorry you had such a bad high school exper...I'm sorry you had such a bad high school experience, Marybeth. Most people do not have a wonderful terrific, crazy, laugh a minute, lets put on a show, high school experience that you see in old Mickey Rooney movies. I know I didn't but I am too much of an extravert, group joining, fun loving gal to have thrived at a homeschool experience. I learned a lot in, and out of classes, that has lasted me all my life. That huge ol' public high school taught me well enough to enter, and graduate from the University of California-Berkeley. My daughters went to local public schools. One excelled in music and social life, the other excelled in sports. Both were good students and went on to advanced degrees at excellent universities, here and abroad.<br /> My little boys go to private schools and are also doing well. I can't imagine homeschooling any of them, and having them miss all that being a part of the school years offers.<br />Of course, we live in an area with good schools.Celestiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770965212118856820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200652614352910944.post-34249977260409137822010-04-03T15:57:51.730-07:002010-04-03T15:57:51.730-07:00Well the interesting thing is, if you read their b...Well the interesting thing is, if you read their book, he points out all the mistakes he made when he DIDN'T consult Michelle first before making a decision. One of them was a $10,000 mistake. And Michelle seems to have the freedom to come and go as she pleases with the debit card for shopping. That's pretty much the way it is around our house--my husband bought me a brand new car and picked it out, but he asked me first if it was what I wanted and let me test drive it first. I just did all the leg work buying and making the offer on the house we're buying--he didn't even do a walk through before we submitted the offer to the bank, that's how much he trusts me. Yet we still have a patriarcal marriage. He's the one that's going to be paying the mortgage and car payments.Marybethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07602076713440953242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200652614352910944.post-33592026113713484382010-04-03T14:19:17.031-07:002010-04-03T14:19:17.031-07:00But i admit some things a man can decide better an...But i admit some things a man can decide better and some thingss a woman can decide better. Not many of us would trust our husbands to pick out a dress for us lol The point is asking the other spouses or family member's opinion. I dont see the trait in old JB.roddmanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200652614352910944.post-60217435913811339322010-04-03T14:15:34.469-07:002010-04-03T14:15:34.469-07:00Many of their early ATI supporter have quit suport...Many of their early ATI supporter have quit suporting them. They feel the Duggars have gotten away from their true mission. Patriarchy sounds so 19th cetnury when only the girls were ezpected to stay home until marriage. It ruffles the feminist in me. The only difference in the Duggars/ATI is the young adult boys remain at home but they tend to have more freedom. Fundamentalists/ATI/ Quiverfull thrive on male headship which disturbs many people. There are varying degrees. I just used the blood drive as an example. It would ease viewers minds if any one of them dared to disagree with daddy JB. If they ever disagree we dont see it.roddmanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200652614352910944.post-57060365437245297702010-04-03T13:55:00.968-07:002010-04-03T13:55:00.968-07:00The funny part about my marriage...and I'll be...The funny part about my marriage...and I'll be honest here...mine's far more Peg Bundy than the 50's June Cleaver. I waste more time in front of the TV than anything else, but then I only have a 3 yr old and not 19 kids. My husband knew that when we got married and he didn't really care if I worked or not, so of course I wasn't going to go to work. And again, my marriage....we're equal, I let him decide things just because I don't want the responsibility if something goes wrong, but I choose that after he asks for my opinion....every marriage is different. I personally think I lucked out and have the best husband on the planet, but I'm sure a lot of women out there feel the same way about their husbands too :) Realistic and fair is completely subjective to everyone's personal situation.Marybethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07602076713440953242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200652614352910944.post-52723184129791584612010-04-03T13:32:27.276-07:002010-04-03T13:32:27.276-07:00I guess the patriarchal system works great for som...I guess the patriarchal system works great for some couples. My hubby and I are equal partners. We both work full time and it takes a team to manage everything. My children are getting a little older now,and it's easier than it used to be. My daughter has a chronic illness and frequent hospitalizations, and that's when we really have to pull together.<br /><br />I would love to stay home, be a homemaker,and relinquish a lot of responsibility to my hubby, but that would not be fair or realistic.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200652614352910944.post-79159678688035645442010-04-02T08:19:05.938-07:002010-04-02T08:19:05.938-07:00You make a very good point, but just because none ...You make a very good point, but just because none of the girls didn't say it, doesn't mean they couldn't. The argument about the blood donation goes both way, neither side can prove their point--you can't prove the girls were forced and we can't prove they could say "I don't feel like it." We have proved, actually the girls themselves have proven, that they can date if they want to. Every side has two stories and it just depends on how you choose to look at things, and since we aren't living inside their home, we'll never truly know what goes on. One thing I will say about the cult, however, is that Jim Bob breaks all the rules of a cult---he's too loud, too vocal, and too public, and he exposes his children to far too much of the world. That's why I don't think their family is quiverfull but likes the passage from the bible, borrows everything from ATI but isn't truly Gothard, because Jim Bob is too in the spotlight.Marybethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07602076713440953242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2200652614352910944.post-57264237786648927852010-04-01T23:17:59.204-07:002010-04-01T23:17:59.204-07:00IMO Hubby and wives are created equal. But their r...IMO Hubby and wives are created equal. But their role of male leadership is dangerous. None can question his decisions. For example, JB told the girls they were giving blood and none of them questioned his decision. One could say "I don't feel like it now maybe later.'or simply "no ". What people mean by freedom is will they get to pick their own faith or will they be shunned for living a different life. We mean freedoms to date, hang out at malls,watch tv, their choice of books,listen to other music besides Christian. Traveling with your entire family even if you are legal age all the time isnt much freedom. You mentioned a key word 'their worship group." We dont see their whole life as you say but from my view they dont have a wide asortment of friends other than what their parents pick. I kinda feel like your profile but have concerns when it intersects with cultish. Fundamentalism has marred many who left it.roddmahttp://www.acnefreelifestyle.netnoreply@blogger.com